BAND NAME: Victual Flesh
GENRE: Grindcore (early), Deathcore/Metalcore (later)
STATUS: Active
LOCATION: Rapid City, South Dakota
Lineup:
Jonathon C. Hovis - Everything
Links:
Discography:
War (EP, April 15, 2017, Independent) (Digital)
1. John 3:16 0:45
2. This Means War 0:13
This means war!
3. Holy Army 0:14
4. Ashes 0:05
5. Break (Interlude) 0:19
6. Sorrow Song (The Ballad) 2:04
7. Rise 0:01
RISE!
8. Outro 0:43
God's Militia (single, May 26, 2017, Independent) (Digital)
1. God's Militia 2:15
Now that we're here we can start our mission
Turning the souls of the godless
We let go of all our inhibitions
Marching out from our fortress
Bringing your death upon the innocent
Is not a worthy apprenticeship
We can and will stop your evil
And march on after your reprieval
Break!
This is our generation
Lost in a recreation
Of false information
We have to stop the formation
Of hate
We must rise above our abhorrence
And above all ignorance
To the truth of our Savior
He brings life to all that really care
Behold The End (EP, August 14, 2017, Independent) (Digital)
1. Intro 0:18
2. Behold The End 0:34
3. Abomination Of Desolation 0:27
4. The Seven Seals 0:38
5. Never Back Down 0:13
6. Coming Of The King 0:33
7. His Reign 0:38
8. Rise Up 0:43
Chains (single, October 23, 2017, Independent) (Digital)
1. Chains 0:54
Breaking off the chains
Of the old age
Becoming new
Changing our view
Release us
Release us
Release us
From our chains
Release us
Release us
Release us
From our misery
Destruction (EP, February 20, 2018, Independent) (Digital)
1. Intro 0:28
2. Rise. Fight. Die. 0:21
RISE! FIGHT! DIE!
RISE! FIGHT! DIE!
RISE! FIGHT! DIE!
RISE! FIGHT! DIE!
3. Destruction 1:21
You are a disease!
You make me sick!
You can't get away!
You make me sick!
You will not escape...the destruction!
You will end!
There is nowhere left for you to hide!
Blegh!
4. Kill It 0:44
Kill it if you can!
Do not let it win!
It is all you have!
You can't let it win!
You won't be able to stop it,
If it gets a hold of your faith!
You can't let it win!
Kill it if you can!
5. Crushed 0:44
Now you've been crushed by the devil you've let in your soul!
6. Tortured For Eternity 0:30
I am pure disgust!
The truest form of death now eating you!
Stuck inside my own decay!
Tortured for eternity!
Lost inside my twisted mind!
Tortured for eternity!
You can't escape this hell you're in!
7. Malignant 1:10
You can't get away!
(Not this time!)
You can't escape your own destruction!
Everything you've seen around you is falling down!
I won't let this go this far again.
You can't get away from the end.
You've laid the last hand on me,
That you'll lay on anyone!
Your own thoughts will kill you dead!
Your malignant mind will be your end!
OH!!!
8. Desperation 0:44
You are desperate for a way out of this mess!
You are desperate for an escape!
You've been caught underneath all of the weight of the things you have done!
You need a Savior!
His name is Jesus Christ!
9. Caverns 0:41
Deep inside you
There is a cavern
A dark chasm meant to kill your faith
You must get up, and destroy your hate
There's a monster lying in waiting
Longing to rip your faith to shreds
Now it's woken up
Now it's come alive
Alive!
10. Terror 0:24
This Means War (EP, March 25, 2018, Independent) (Digital)
1. This Means War 0:10
This means war!
2. Holy Army 0:14
Holding up the flag of the Holy Army
Raising up the flag of the Holy Army
Protecting the flag of the Holy Army
I am a soldier in the Holy Army
3. God's Militia 1:50
Now that we're here we can start our mission
Turning the souls of the godless
We let go of all our inhibitions
Marching out from our fortress
Bringing your death upon the innocent
Is not a worthy apprenticeship
We can and will stop your evil
And march on after your reprieval
This is our generation
Lost in a recreation
Of false information
We have to stop the formation
Of hate
We must rise above our abhorrence
And above all ignorance
To the truth of our Savior
He brings life to all that really care
4. Sever 0:36
My whole life is twisted
My mind is perverted
The price of being human
The price of being fallen
Severing
My ties
To this sick and twisted world
I am a twisted man!
Misguided (single, April 17, 2018, Independent) (Digital)
1. Misguided 1:51
I have become your slave
I have let myself become your servant
I can't believe the words coming out of my mouth
The sick and twisted thoughts inside my head
I can't get out of this hell I'm in
You've trapped me in your sick prison
Misguided from birth
Perverted from first words
Please don't make me do this
No!
Please don't make me do this
No!
I need a Savior!
I need a Savior!
This can happen
This must happen
I'm gonna let this go and you can't stop me!
Oh!
I will return to my old ways if I don't have You!
Let It Out (single, September 16, 2018, Independent) (Digital)
1. Let It Out 1:22
OOOOHHHHHH!
I won't break apart!
These days won't be my end!
I will let go,
Of my insecurities.
Everyday I grow closer,
To the death I'm trying to avoid!
Broken down so many times!
I might never recover!
LET! IT! OUT!
You can't deny this!
You must give it up!
Or it will be your doom!
Sticks & Stones (single)
October 24, 2018, Independent (Digital)
October 26, 2018, The Bearded Dragon Productions (Digital)
1. Sticks & Stones 1:18
Sticks and stones may break these bones
But words, they cut like knives!
Slicing deep into our flesh
And ripping apart our lives!
Razors! Switchblades! Slicing deep under my flesh!
Every word from your mouth is spelling my death!
Every syllable like a punch in the gut!
One more sentence and I may just give up!
This life is not worth it if this is the way that I must live!
Beaten down at every step, with no help from the ones around me!
Genocide (single)
May 3, 2019, Independent (Digital)
May 3, 2019, The Bearded Dragon Productions (Digital)
1. Genocide 3:40
What kind of monster
Have you become!?
Denying the existence
To your young!
Life is a precious thing
Would you deprived that from them
Are you just an afterthought?
Take some responsibility!
This world is so cold, diseased, and soulless
It's time to bring some light
OPEN UP YOUR EYES!
I see a life in pain
Torn apart from your convenience
I see tormented souls of the young crying out
Did you not love me?
Was I just a burden?
Did you not create me?
Why do you want me dead?!
Life is a precious thing
Would you deprived that from them
Are you just an afterthought?
Take some responsibility!
Your actions are pathetic
The signs of a coward
You don't want to deal with life
So you decide to end one instead
The killing
The pain!
Oh it hurts!
Oh it hurts!
What are you doing to me?!
This is genocide!
All the regret will consume your soul!
Why don't you get it?
The depravity of your actions
Why can't you see?
What they mean to me!
Life is a precious thing
Would you deprived that from them
Are you just an afterthought?
Take some responsibility!
Your actions are pathetic
The signs of a coward
You don't want to deal with life
So you just end one!
This will haunt you
Til the day you die!
Degenerate (EP)
May 22, 2020, The Bearded Dragon Productions (Digital)
October 10. 2022, Independent (Digital)
1. Degenerate 0:45
The sun has blackened out!
My will is fading now!
I can feel myself becoming numb.
The pain consumes me!
What have I become?
Nothing more than a waste of oxygen!
I think I'll end it all.
Think my time has come!
Oh, God!
Please end me!
I'm sick to the stomach of my own degeneracy!
Oh, God!
Please take me!
I'm tired of everything, just end me!
There's no hope,
For me!
2. Regret 0:34
This one thought like a cancer!
Plots to destroy me!
Take away my mind.
I try to fight this!
Every time I try, I fail and succumb,
To the things I hate.
And now I've become,
A monster of my own making!
What is this life if all I have is regret?
I'd rather die than live like this!
3. Strength 0:31
I have been a slave to hate, to every wicked thing.
But I've been set free,
And now I'll be what you call me to be.
You have been my strength, my shield, you are my everything!
When I fall apart you're there to pick me up and carry me.
4. Broken 1:10
I see the pain inside your eyes.
I know you feel secure in your disguise!
I wish I knew how to bring you peace!
But I just can't find the right words to speak!
You've been split in two,
From all that you've been through.
I'd find who hurt you and tear their throats apart!
In the end, you'll be made new!
Don't you worry now, God can restore you!
He sees your pain, he knows the truth!
Please know how much he loves you!
Horror (EP, December 28, 2022, Independent) (Digital)
1. Imprisoned 0:27
Darkness
Consumes the energy that once let me live
Silence
The enemy of everything that could set me free
You don't have to be alone
2. Useless 0:36
Cut me out and throw me away
I'm not worth your time or energy
I will forever be useless
3. Sick 0:28
Sick and tired of this cycle
Waiting for something to change
Grasping at the broken mirror
Will I ever be free
I want to believe
I want to live again
4. Toxic Medicine 0:29
Deadly voices creeping in
Like pins and needles in my head
Draining all the life within
Like viral toxic medicine
This is what my life's become
A portrait of sanity undone
I wish I could die
5. I Am Not Your Slave 0:16
You can't make me who I'm not
6. The Longing 0:38
All my life I've ran from this
A creeping fear of emptiness
I'm sick of faking my control
I give it up to You alone
Lift me from these heavy chains
I long my heart to beat again
My heart burns for you
Mind Games (single, February 15, 2023, Independent) (Digital)
1. Mind Games 1:15
The Eternal Grave Of My Suffering (EP, July 28, 2023, Independent) (Digital)
1. What I Fear 0:51
Anxiety suffocates me
There's bridges burning all around me
I cut my ties with everything
I realize I am nothing
Blood-soaked, mutilated
Diagnosed, over-hated
I succumb to my torture
I see now I've become what I fear
2. The Parasite 0:38
I try daily to remain faithful
Tripping over every stick and stone
My conscience is never clear
I'm fiend, a disgusting blackhole
Save me, I've become my own worst enemy
This illusion is causing me to give in
To a monster born out of my sin
Make me worthy
Kill the parasite inside my dead heart
3. Carry Me 0:42
Crushing weight, I can't escape, the pressure drives me to my end
Visceral, an animal, I can't control my own descent
I need comfort
I want peace of mind
This cycle, neverending
This torment, never ceasing
I cry out for relief
But abandon all You give me
I don't deserve You
Your love carries me through
4. Empty Grave 0:40
I, I see... the fear behind my eyes is leaving
A new day, now is dawning
And I'm no longer drowning
I set my sights to the end
A life away from this dead dream
As You empty me... of this grave, I am set free
I am free
Calling Lights (single, October 13, 2023, Independent) (Digital)
1. Calling Lights 2:25
I had a life of everything I could ever need.
But something changed, so much for faith, I found a new belief!
Suffocation!
Bleeding out every day I breathe in!
Isolated cold!
Consuming me from within!
The life I lead is just a mere illusion.
Taking root inside this grand delusion!
I put myself on a stage, I gave myself the glory.
I thought I needed the fame to make me feel I'm worthy.
I crave the center spotlight, but it's not for me!
I deny all things that I myself had once believed!
I lost the path, became a pawn, left myself for dead!
I crossed a line, no I'm not fine, please fix my head!
I've set myself on a stage, I've my myself the image.
I never saw the real world, just life through broken lenses.
I need a way to restart, brand new with no distractions.
Please open up my heart and fix my fractured mind.
I cry out!
Through all my failures!
Please lift me up!
And shed me of this...curse!
I don't need this dead world to show me who I am!
I'm alive in the lights that lead me home!
Lifebreather (EP, November 17, 2023, Independent) (Digital)
1. The Lake 0:54
The vultures swarm, while I die in the bed I made
Maggots in my skin slowly feast on my heart's decay
Death will not come for me, though I call his name
God, what did I do to myself to bring upon this pain?
I gave up Your free gift of life to chase a fragile dream
This shallow world could never fill the void inside of me
And now it's too late...
2. Crimson Baptism 0:40
Cursed by my own decay
I crave for more pain
Creature of habit, deceitful heart
Craving lust, pleasing the flesh
Immersed in my own death
I look above for relief
But throw aside what You give me
Cleanse me, my God!
Baptized by blood!
3. Lifebreather 0:30
Step into the catacombs
Of all the filth I've called my own
A winding hall of endless drone
He saved from my wretched lie
A life of shallow compromise
He is the lifebreather
He is my salvation
4. My King 1:09
Leave me in ice
Frostbite, I will die tonight
Burn alive, that's fine
No compromise as you turn off the lights
You say my God is dead, but that's lies told in your head
He's alive and he's coming back
The word made flesh, the Son of Man
Prince of Peace, the spotless Lamb!
I will not abandon all the gifts He's given
I will forever praise the God who delivered me from darkness
He is my King!
He is my King!
5. Take My Life 1:48
I lost myself again
I gave into my sin
I gave up all that You did for me
My dying compromise
The light behind my eyes
Fades slowly as I walk to mercy
God I've cried a thousand tears
I've fooled myself for years
Saying I was fine, but it was a lie
I needed help and I couldn't see it
But now I surrender to You
God I long to cling to You
Lord I need you in my life
'Cause without you I'm not alright
I'm not alright
Please take my life
The Narrow Path (EP, March 24, 2024, Independent) (Digital)
1. The Narrow Path 2:13
(Matthew 7:13-14 ESV)
"Enter by the narrow gate.
For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction,
And those who enter by it are many.
For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life,
And those who find it are few."
(Matthew 7:21-23 ESV)
"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,'
Will enter the kingdom of heaven,
But the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
On that day many will say to me,
'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name,
And cast out demons in your name,
And do many mighty works in your name?'
And then I will declare to them,
'I never know you; depart from me,
You workers of lawlessness.'"
Enter in the narrow gate,
The path is hard,
The reward is great!
A life beyond this mortal suffering.
A life consumed in His glory!
You alone are worthy!
2. Trust 3:22
I try every day
To trust in the words You say
For a moment I cling to Your love like a lost puppy finding its way back home
But in an instant I see a distraction that pulls me away to the dark alleys of mistrust
Where have I gone?
Alone again
What have I done?
Abandoned myself to Your love and guidance
Trust in You
It's something I can't seem to cling to
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
I lost myself, but in You I am found!
I come back to the altar, where You stand with Your arms open wide
You bought my forgiveness with the blood of Your son, Jesus Christ
Why is it so hard for me to trust in You?
Why can't I just have faith in You?
I long to see the day I trust in You with everything
Will You wait for me?
Will You wait for me?
My plans aren't perfect, but I cling to them like a time bomb
When will it explode?
Detonate or implode?
I can't keep playing this game
I won't be afraid to trust
Your plan for me is greater than what I made up
So like a child I will cling to faith!
Put my trust in Him who calmed the thrashing waves!
3. Welcome Home 0:42
I am nothing, worthless beggar
Slave to my skin, how could You love me?
I made a fool of my so-called faith
I cursed and praised with my own tongue
Now it's come to the end of days
I hear you say, "Welcome home!"
How could this be?
My sins they were many
But to the grave, they have been buried
By one act of loving grace and mercy
You have set me free
4. Dying Anthem 2:51
My broken mind will be my dying anthem
Out of time, I've made my last mistake
Fatal consequences cloud around me
My anguished breath departs my wretched lungs
Breathing my lust, I choke upon deception
Bleeding out, I still long for this flesh
I hate what I became
A vile creature seeking nothing but lust for the flesh
A defiler wishing for more depraved anguish
My soul has left me, my heart led me astray
My body trembles for the lust of this sweet decay
Oh God, if I have any hope left, please look upon me in favor and help me denounce this flesh
Shed me of myself
Crawling around on the ground, I am not worthy of this
I always knew you, but I wanted only what I could touch
Living a lie, not alright, I long for something more
Casting the stones at my home, made of flesh and bone
I give away all my hate, all my lust for depravity, everything I made for me
I want to be something more, something pure, something that doesn't crave this vile filth
Make me an image of You
Lead me into the truth
I can't breathe without the blood You shed for me
Lead me from this vile, worthless, hopeless, godless pit of despair
Life (single, May 1, 2024, Independent) (Digital)
A full reworking of the song "Genocide".
1. Life 3:44
Smothered out by before he could be held
Decimated before she had a chance to breathe
A life gone in an instant decision
You're too naive to face the life you chose
This life could be so much more
But underneath the scars you bore
You weren't ready for this time
But made the choice and now you've buried mine
A life here sits before you, in your hands
A choice to make, will she prosper or meet her gruesome end
This is the path we've made, a trail of blood and tears
God's voice cries out in pain at the pruning of their years
Why does it have to come to this? Can't you see their pain?
Why has it come to all of this? Why are they suffering?!
This life could be so much more
But underneath the scars you bore
You weren't ready for this day
But now it's gone, it's the price you pay
There is still hope left for you now
God has a plan to bring you out
He set a place for you, you'll see
It's up to you to take that leap
Through all you've done
He has a plan for both ending
Lay your burdens at his feet
He will wash you clean!
Wash you clean with the blood of the lamb!
This life will be so much more
God has a plan, you can be sure
He'll pick you out of your despair
And seat your burdens in His care
You may have chose to end a life
But here and now He's paid the price
Trade all your sorrows now for joy
He'll make your life a living testimony
This life is worth living!
Never Bow (single, July 3, 2024, Independent) (Digital)
1. Never Bow 4:39
The devil's clawing at my flesh
The demons gnawing at my heart
They can take it all away
But I will never curse Your name
Your life is perfect
I am incomplete
You have made me whole
From that day on I've never been the same
My flesh is temporary
My bones will slowly fall apart
But the soul goes on forever
I refuse to be apart from You
You can take me to my grave
You can slap me in my face
I will never bow down
I will never turn away
Though my flesh is burning now
And all my days have been lived out
I will never bow down
I will never turn away
They drag the bodies out
To show the ruthless crowd
But I will stand among the living
I will never bow
They aim to take our lives
They aim to take our hope
They aim to rip us all apart
But we will never bow
We will stand our ground
We will raise our voice in praise
'Cause the living God has set us free
Saved us from the grave
You can take me to my grave
You can slap me in my face
I will never bow down
I will never turn away
Though my flesh is burning now
And all my days have been lived out
I will never bow down
I will never turn away
The world calls out to me
They tell me my God was never there
But I have felt Him in my heart
He is the One who lives!
No pain!
(I feel it)
No shame!
(I live it)
No pain!
I'm never breaking
You can take me to my grave
You can slap me in my face
I will never bow down
I will never turn away
Though my flesh is burning now
And all my days have been lived out
I will never bow down
I will never turn away
In my heart I trust in You
The only one that I look to
I will live for You
I will always trust in You
I will trust in You
I will never bow to this broken world!
Conviction (album, August 4, 2024, Independent) (Digital)
1. Intro 0:25
(Instrumental)
2. In Christ Alone 2:57
The price is paid in blood
Blood of the Holy One
He is the living God of Truth
He is my Savior
I lay my life in surrender to His workmanship
I give my all to one day stand within His presence
He gave up all His glory to come down to this earth
He surrendered Himself to death
To take the pain that I had birthed
He alone is worthy!
He alone can save!
Bled and died for my shame
Picked me up from my grave
As I stand accused of
Many sins and failures
He pleads for my life
He offers me mercy!
In Christ alone, my hope is found
In Christ alone, I am made new
In Christ alone, my worth is shown
In Christ alone, I am given life
Eternal life
There is no other God!
Christ alone
There is no other God!
Christ alone
3. Never Bow 4:39
The devil's clawing at my flesh
The demons gnawing at my heart
They can take it all away
But I will never curse Your name
Your life is perfect
I am incomplete
You have made me whole
From that day on I've never been the same
My flesh is temporary
My bones will slowly fall apart
But the soul goes on forever
I refuse to be apart from You
You can take me to my grave
You can slap me in my face
I will never bow down
I will never turn away
Though my flesh is burning now
And all my days have been lived out
I will never bow down
I will never turn away
They drag the bodies out
To show the ruthless crowd
But I will stand among the living
I will never bow
They aim to take our lives
They aim to take our hope
They aim to rip us all apart
But we will never bow
We will stand our ground
We will raise our voice in praise
'Cause the living God has set us free
Saved us from the grave
You can take me to my grave
You can slap me in my face
I will never bow down
I will never turn away
Though my flesh is burning now
And all my days have been lived out
I will never bow down
I will never turn away
The world calls out to me
They tell me my God was never there
But I have felt Him in my heart
He is the One who lives!
No pain!
(I feel it)
No shame!
(I live it)
No pain!
I'm never breaking
You can take me to my grave
You can slap me in my face
I will never bow down
I will never turn away
Though my flesh is burning now
And all my days have been lived out
I will never bow down
I will never turn away
In my heart I trust in You
The only one that I look to
I will live for You
I will always trust in You
I will trust in You
I will never bow to this broken world!
4. Conviction 3:25
One life
One vision
Holy conviction
One life
One vision
Holy conviction
Set ablaze, ignited for Your Name
Sent out to a broken age
A light to burn for all to see
Not to be turned away
This life is temprorary
We say goodbye when we're buried
We were made to be something more
We are called to serve
The Lord of all has called us to this task
The One who made the world has called us in
To His holy workmanship
To light a flame that never dies!
One life
One life
One life
Holy conviction
One life
One life
One life
Holy conviction
One life
One vision
Holy conviction
One life
One vision
Holy conviction
So do not fear, He has our backs
Into the furnace, we will persevere
We will be bold as we stare into the black
The Lord above has conquered all demons and fear
The Lord above has conquered all
The Lord above has conquered all
One life
One life
One life
Holy conviction
One life
One vision
Holy conviction
One life
One vision
Holy conviction
One life
One vision
Holy conviction
One life
One vision
Holy conviction
Set me ablaze!
I will burn for Your Name!
5. Unworthy 2:43
I AM NOT WORTHY!
I WILL NEVER BE WORTHY!
Across this wasteland of filth and decay I crawl
I'm here to serve, to be who you have called
And as I stand before the wretched crowds
I declare the name of Him who came down
There is no one good!
Not one!
There is no one good!
Not one!
I am not worthy to kiss His feet!
I am shame!
I am not worthy to be in His presence!
So if I am to die today
Take me and make me a martyr for Your name
But there is one thing I ask in request
Take this cross and turn it around!
Unworthy!
Unworthy!
Crucify me upside down!
I am not worthy to be in Your presence!
Yet here I stand before You
Oh Mighty Lord of all!
And as I open my mouth to speak
I hear You say "My child, I love you so!"
6. Devil 2:00
This is the life you chose
You'll beg for death
But it will never come for you
Suffer in darkness
Separated from all that is good
Watch as all you desire
Is stripped from you by the fire
They're all marching to demise
Suffocated by your lies inside
You let His sheep astray!
Now by the fire you will pay!
You let His sheep astray!
Now by the fire you will pay!
You'll pay for what you've done
You'll pay for all you've done
You'll pay for all you've done
You'll pay for all you've done
You'll pay for all you've done
You'll pay
You'll pay
7. Float 3:36
Always falling, never crashing
I long to see the happy ending
Living, dying, barely surviving
Always downward, eternal descending
Losing my own sanity
Turn around with nothing to see
Breaking from reality
Calling out, need You to save me
Surface screams
Fractured beams of hell
Life inside
Nightmare I hide
Full in hate
Live and breathe the shame
All in lies
In due time, it comes
Wake up my sanity
Wiped clean, I see
Fractured reality
Broken memories
Living in harmony
I see my own mortality
Break apart what I believe
Leave me dried up in the sea
Always falling, never crashing
I long to see the happy ending
Living, dying, barely surviving
Always downward, eternal descending
Losing my own sanity
Turn around with nothing to see
Breaking from reality
Calling out, need You to save me
Break the ties that bind me to the ground
Live or die
But in the end I will come alive
To save this life, it's not worth the pain
Set apart
I flee from this mortal chain
Ascending from this earth
I leave behind this mortal curse
The leaves are changing now
The winds are calming down
And as the surface screams
I ignore their selfish pleas
The colors fading in
This new life begins
Always falling, never crashing
I long to see the happy ending
Living, dying, barely surviving
Always downward, eternal descending
Losing my own sanity
Turn around with nothing to see
Breaking from reality
Calling out, need You to save me
I float away
Nothing can keep me from leaving this distorted life behind
I'm leaving
You'll never make me stay
8. New Life 2:49
Open my eyes
To a world made new
Cleanse my sight
I am filled with You
Out with the darkness
Bring forth Your light
Shatter this silence
Ignite our lives
From the beginning this has been in place
A life away from sin and our disgrace
A world beyond the world we left
A realm within Your endless breath
The place You dwell, a place we are complete
You brought us in, You set us free
Now we rejoice eternally
We shout in praise to You endlessly
I sing for You alone
I shout out with all my soul
In this place I have no fear
In this place You are always here!
Breathe You in
New life within
No more darkness
You cast out my sin
From within the shadows
You have called me out
Now in Your light
There is no death
Grace and mercy, life and freedom
The gifts You give to us so freely
Now here in Your presence Lord
I see my life has been restored
Love so sweet, how can it be?
That You gave it so openly
We sought it so desperately
Now it's ours eternally
Open eyes
No disguise
No more lies
You severed the ties that bind
I sing for You alone
I shout out with all my soul
In this place I have no fear
In this place You are always here!
9. Outro 0:28
You bring me peace!
Eternal (single, August 26, 2024, Independent) (Digital)
1. Eternal 2:12
Never ending
Pain eternal
Cast into the void
Forever fading
The empty feeling never ending
Separated eternally from all that is good
No fortune finds you
No light can see you here
This chasm swallows all that you once held dear
Forever fading
No light is here
Unending emptiness
As you fade eternally
Eternal suffering
Fade into the void of self indulgence
You are free to live in all your filth
But here you'll never find completion
You will exist in eternal emptiness
Beg for your death
But it will never come
Beg for your death
But it will never come
Internalize (single, October 1, 2024, Independent) (Digital)
1. Internalize 4:22
It comes for you
It will be your end
Violent visions caress your conscience
Piercing thoughts into your head
Sink down
Sink down
Bury yourself in your void
Shrink beneath just to avoid
Into the torment inside yourself
You've become a recluse, 4 walls of guilt
Ever darkened, this hate crawls inside
A disgusting feeling, unsure where to hide
It's an emergency
All the walls are shrinking in
You feel the voices within
It's screaming louder, words you'd never tell yourself
It's making everywhere inside your head a living hell
A living hell
Burn
Everything that you see, itching for a place to breathe
Suffocate the voice inside, that little horror in your mind
Keep you in, in this place, I'm just here to keep you safe
It's alright, it's okay, no one loves you anyways
Time won't heal the pain I've made
In the end you'll see you're nothing
We are your true desires
We are your non-fictitious things you hide
You can trust us, we mean you no harm
No really, mean you no harm
With a gun up to your head
Taking aim at what the voices said
With one last finishing blow
I'll show you who I am, I'll send you below
Send you below
Internalize
Internalize
I keep it from your eyes, in fact, you're better off without me
We are not the same
You could never understand my shame
Without a place to release this tension
I'm like a living, breathing, human grenade
I don't want to make you worry about me
I think it's better if you just forget me
Deified Mind (single, October 1, 2024, Independent) (Digital)
1. Deified Mind 4:49
Living inside my own mind
Can I go on
Drowning out all the things that I don't want
Masquerade like I'm alright
But deep inside this world I hide
Too many days I fall away into this deep façade
Too many times I've stayed inside to imagine what is not
If I could I'd slip away forever to this life
If I could I'd remain here in this world within my mind
I don't want to leave this place
In this world I finally feel safe
I am king of all within
I can control all that happens
I keep it hidden from the rest
I can't reveal how deep it is
Everything means something
And I get so sick of running
If I could just get some peace of mind
Maybe I wouldn't hide
(You'll never be safe outside)
(Stay here and live inside your mind)
This is the way I choose to exist
Never feeling true happiness
Even if I die all alone
At least I wasn't far from home
If I could find the peace to be free
If I could find some rest, you would see
It really isn't all that bad
I just hide it all in my head
Burning down the walls I've built
Reconstruct from ashes and silt
From the shores of turbulent thoughts
I reconnect the severed dots
Time can not heal this pain
Days never consume the night
Purge
Purge again
Why should I go outside?
If I might hurt again
Why should I try again?
What if this never ends?
Am I safe?
Am I dead?
Am I stuck inside my head?
I think I'll just remain safe and sound, where I'm found, never leaving this again
I prefer this world I have made, in my head, it's a place without an end
Restart
Start again
And again
I can try a thousand times, never die, never end
If I do, start again, new save, no regret
It's like a game I play
New life every day
This is how I live my life
Oh Lord of all, I know I need to trust that You have a plan
I know I need to have faith that You'll get me through
Some days it's so hard to mask the pain
I can't take the constant hate I make
This life could collapse any day
I can't find the strength
This world I've made will one day rip me apart
Purge
Purge
I can't let go
I can't
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