BAND NAME: To Hell With Religion
GENRE: Grindcore / Noisegrind
STATUS: Active
LOCATION: Killingly, Connecticut
Lineup:
Lee Catanese - Everything
Links:
Discography:
Generation Worthless (EP, July 17, 2019, Independent) (Digital)
As you can see from the album cover, the title says "Generation Retard", until the official name was later changed.
1. The Original Song Title Was Too Long For Bandcamp, So, Here It Is, Drastically Shorter. Donald Trump Isn't A Racist, Nor Does He Hate Women. You're Just A Moron Who Believes Everything You See On Facebook. Also, Amy Schumer Raped A Man. 1:30
Take to the streets for a made-up cause.
Trying to earn your good people points for the day?
Or do you think you actually care about what you're fighting for?
Hating a single man has now become a trend.
A man who protects you and lets you live in your ignorant bubble.
Dividing a nation you take no credit for.
You claim to stand for love and peace, so why hate and attack those who differ from you?
Do you simply forget, or are you ignorant to the funding of a large scale terrorist group?
The funding by a man who you idolize, simply because of his hue.
War, murder, rape, and destruction has spread the Earth.
Are you this blind? Are you really this stupid?
How can a generation that prides itself on "not believing anything we're told", believes everything the liberal media tells them?
How can you be so progressive when you're supporting bloodshed?
How are you so loving when you're supporting the obliteration of countries and people of color?
Why are you so condemning of people who actually stand up for social injustice?
Stop getting your news from Twitter, and turn off your freakin' phones and pay attention to the world you hate.
2. I Was Always Told Growing Up If I Get A Job I Love I Wouldn't Work A Day In My Life. That's Why I Became A Proctologist. 0:46
You don't know the meaning of suffering.
First world problems all that you know.
I'm sorry, but I don't share your grief.
One by one you will all see,
The meaninglessness you portray in their lives.
Family, friends, all that you know will betray you,
And leave you in the end.
You are nothing to them,
And you are nothing to me.
So take your own life.
What purpose do you serve?
None.
Go ahead, pull the trigger.
Things will never get better.
Just a teen with selfishly-slit wrists.
Where is your god now?
It was never a god.
Just meaningless possessions.
Just worthless social status.
There is only one true God.
There is only one true Savior.
The Lord Jesus Christ.
Turn your back on the world,
Just as it has turned its back on you.
Aren't you happy?
You gave up before things ever had a chance to get better.
Now the world has one less problem to death with.
3. After Paying J. Howell To Give You A Consensual Kiss On The Forehead, I Went Back In Time And Voted For Charlie Chapman. 1:07
I guess if I'm supposed to hate the ways of the world I'm doing one thing right.
But, God, why is this so painful?
For far too long I've believed in mankind.
And now I just resent it.
I am called to love my brothers and I hate them all.
I hate everyone.
I hate everything.
Nothing is pure.
Nothing is sacred.
No one cares.
No one cares about anything.
And I'm no better.
All I see are walking intoxicants with lustful hearts.
How can I call myself a Christian?
4. Thick Bob Randy And The Korean Pussycat Dolls. Yes, Thick, Not Thicc. Screw Your Meme Culture. Also, Get A Job And Move Out Of Your Parents' House. You're 25. 0:58
This is not offending for the sake of offending.
This is a stand against ignorance.
Do any of you have a brain wave left?
A meme convinced you 9/11 was fake.
This isn't 1920 anymore.
Thank you 20-year-old college student for telling me I'm a white man.
I had no idea.
How does that give me an advantage now?
Where are my scholarships?
If I was in South Africa right now I'd be shot dead because of my gender and skin color.
Did you choose to ignore this because it doesn't fit your agenda?
Or are you telling me Snapchat didn't have this on their news page?
Hey, feminist who supports Islam, let's have all the refugees come here and do what they did to multiple countries they did in Europe and have them rape you for dressing like a slut.
How are you a free thinker when you dress, act, and believe like every other lemming your age?
Are you kidding me?
Are you this brainwashed?
Are you this retarded?
Generation retard.
We Built The Cross (EP, October 31, 2019, Independent) (Digital)
1. Sorry I'm Late, I Was Challenged To A Rap Battle By Some Homeless Guy In Worcester. I Lost. 1:37
Giver of life.
Creator of heaven and earth.
Heavenly Father.
We were not created to satisfy ourselves.
We are here to live our lives for the Lord.
An hour of listening does not buy salvation.
Pick up your ears and open your hearts to the Savior.
No good deed will grant you eternal life.
How are you a Christian if your life is not lived for the Lord?
He gave you his life so we could spend our life with him.
How selfish of us to only go after our own desires.
Forgive me, Lord, for how wrong I was in my youth.
I will no longer fall prey to any religion.
I have you, and none of my shortcomings will ever change that, for I have your Son to pay my price set above my head.
I am not worthy.
I will never be worthy, and I'm starting to learn that's okay.
2. The Bloodline Is Starting To Wear A Little Thin. I Think It's Time To Have Santa Abducted By Aliens To Get Him Pregnant Again. 3:11
One step forward with a thousand steps back.
What do you possibly see in me?
What can I possibly give back to this world?
Why do you call me your son?
Why do you want me in your kingdom?
What am I compared to your other children?
What am I compared to you?
3. Forever (We Sing Hallelujah) (Kari Jobe cover) 3:31
The moon and the stars they wept
The morning sun was dead
The Savior of the world was fallen
His body on the cross
His blood poured out for us
The weight of every curse upon Him
One final breath He gave
As Heaven looked away
The Son of God was laid in darkness
A battle in the grave
The war on death was waged
The power of hell forever broken
The ground began to shake
The stone was rolled away
His perfect love could not be overcome
Now death where is your sting
Our resurrected King has rendered you defeated
Forever, He is glorified
Forever, He is lifted high
Forever, He is risen
He is alive
He is alive
The ground began to shake
The stone was rolled away
His perfect love could not be overcome
Now death where is your sting
Our resurrected King has rendered you defeated
Forever, He is glorified
Forever, He is lifted high
Forever, He is risen
He is alive
He is alive
Forever, forever
You have overcome
Your resurrected King
You have overcome the grave
You have overcome
We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
The Lamb has overcome
We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
The Lamb has overcome
We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
The Lamb has overcome
We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
The Lamb has overcome
We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
The Lamb has overcome
We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
We sing hallelujah
The Lamb has overcome
Forever, He is glorified
Forever, He is lifted high
Forever, He is risen
He is alive
He is alive (Forever)
Forever, He is glorified
Forever, He is lifted high
Forever, He is risen
He is alive
He is alive
The Suicide Of The Worldly Man (EP)
June 13, 2020, Coleiosis Records (Digital)
June 14, 2020, Independent (Digital)
The cover art was originally sent to me uncensored, so I placed a skull over the gory area to censor it.
1. Show This Song To All The Kids I Went To High School With Who Said I Was Going To Be A Loser. They Deserve To Know How Right They Were. 0:58
Earthly father
I've known you all my life
Why do I barely know you?
As we both get older, I can only feel us growing apart
Maybe I'm to blame for the times I disappointed you
I understand I didn't turn out to be the son you wanted, but I'm still your son
And you're still my father
Which makes this so much harder to write
I know I've given up trying to satisfy you, and I'm sorry
I know I am to honor you, but I don't know how to without changing who I am
I always daydreamed of us making amends as we age, but those have turned into bitter memories
If it wasn't for all my negative trails I so clearly get from you, I could pretend I was never yours
This has pained me all my life
I am blessed for eternity
My Heavenly Father has paid the price set above my head
But, I cannot let go of the dread of my earthly father
Sometimes I feel like we should never speak again
I can feel the sadness and shame you bear for naming me after you
Do you love me?
I love you
I hope
2. Great! Now The Prime Minister Of Florida Thinks I'm A Professional Golfer, Also! 1:10
Loneliness, a feeling we all know well
A saved man embedded in a dark circle of toxic slime
A Christian engulfed by a culture so far removed from what God has made them to be
A grind-head surrounded by clean-cut, godly men
A degenerate thrown into the masses of the saved
Where do I belong?
Why don't I belong anywhere I go?
I don't fit in anywhere
I never have, and I never will
It's just the reality I guess I have to accept now at 25 years of age
I understand you call me to be different and to be set out from the crowd
I know you will never leave me
I now can see this is part of your plan
It's because of these circumstances I now know you are the only thing I could ever need
You've given my lungs air and my stomach food
You've always provided for me, and forever will
Lord, I do not need anyone else when I have you
But, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want fellowship
I'm just waiting to die alone
3. Henry And Henrietta Hippo Hunt Hippies In Houston. Hooray! 0:45
Hands pierced as the thorns bury into your brow
Grit your teeth as the flesh is ripped from your back
The most gruesome act of human selfishness is transformed into the most beautiful act of love ever seen by the Earth
It was me who should've been nailed to the cross that night
It was me who should've been sent to the depths of Hell
You took my place
As you breathed your final breath, you proclaimed it to be finished
I no longer have to worry about my transgressions
As your blood pours out of your heart onto the barren Earth, my skin begins to crawl and my eyes swell
This mental cruelty placed before me is nothing to the torment you experienced, oh Lord
I don't deserve to be loved
I don't deserve to be loved by you in such a manner
I can never understand why you did what you did or what you see in me, but Jesus, I will never take you for granted again
4. *On First Date With A Beautiful, God-Fearing Woman* So, What's Your Favorite Brutal Slamming Death Metal Band? 1:20
Lord in Heaven
I will no longer reject you
I will no longer deny your presence in my life
For not openly shouting your name at the top of my lungs is just the same as throwing your gift of salvation away
I will make a joyful noise for my Savior
I will make a stand for all to see you are the reason I am breathing
It is because of you I can rejoice and worship in a realm many seem unfit
By my Savior's name, I will go out into the darkness and preach to the lost souls who may never have gotten the chance to know the merciful and powerful name of Jesus
The 2 Ugly Losers Split
November 15, 2020, Independent (Digital)
November 15, 2020, Pelaman Noise (Digital)
1. To Hell With Religion - Home Depot Said They Would Hire Me If I Could Promise Them I Would Shower At Least Once Per Month. So, Guess Who Is Still Unemployed. 0:50
2. To Hell With Religion - I Was Always Told Growing Up If I Get A Job I Love I Wouldn't Work A Day In My Life. That's Why I Became A Proctologist. 0:46
3. To Hell With Religion - Thick Bob Randy And The Korean Pussycat Dolls. Yes, Thick, Not Thicc. Screw Your Meme Culture. Also, Get A Job And Move Out Of Your Parents' House. You're 25. 0:58
4. To Hell With Religion - Great! Now The Prime Minister Of Florida Thinks I'm A Professional Golfer, Also! 1:10
Christians Aren't Christ (EP)
February 15, 2021, Coleiosis Records (Digital)
February 15, 2021, Independent (Digital)
February 15, 2021, Imploding Sounds (Digital)
1. If Eating Burger King In The Shower Is Weird, I Don't Want To Be Normal 0:44
Speak to me like you once did.
Speak to me in a way I can hear and comprehend.
Stricken with pride.
Thinking I am worthy of everything.
Nothing can be farther from the truth.
Pride.
The original sin.
I don't deserve this life I lead.
And yet, I go to bed daily pleading for you to fix what is broken.
I need you now more than ever, sweet Jesus.
I am at my tipping point.
If anyone knows what it's like to be over-worked and under-appreciated, it was he who was nailed to the cross to save the ones who defiled his perfect name.
2. If Any Pretty, Young Lady Is Listening To This Song And Has A Long Neck And Is Into Weird Dudes With Horrible Music Taste, Message Me On Bandcamp So We Can Get Married And Have A Daughter Named Giraffica 0:52
Children in poverty and here I am angry about my childhood.
Children being sold into sex trafficking and here I am pissed off about working long days.
A selfish man with a selfish heart.
I am doing nothing you haven't called me to do, Father.
I've been broken before.
Break me down, oh Lord.
That way I can remember the way I need you.
Right now, I stew in jealousy and envy for those around me.
That is not my calling.
That is not your plan for me.
Remind me why I'm here.
Tear me down to build me up, like you did once before.
I am ready for the heartache if it means I can feel you in my soul like I once did.
Take this hate out of my heart, replace it with your love.
Take this selfish man, and make him a fisher of men.
Mold me.
Mend me.
Purify me like fine wine.
Bring to light my weaknesses so you can make them strengths.
Make me like a fountain.
Let me overflow with the joy, peace and happiness that can only be found through you.
I have felt this all before.
It won't be long until I feel them again.
Because I know you are working on my behalf.
And I know I will be the light you call me to be.
There is no one I desire more than you.
Jesus, you're all that I need right now.
You're all I wish to be.
3. Just Because I Look Like Bill Nye The Science Guy Doesn't Mean I Know A Lick About Science. Though, I Do Verbally Abuse Children Often. But, That's Just A Coincidence. 0:43
Abandoned the church as a teen.
Never felt at home.
Never felt your presence.
Cast out by family and peers.
The black sheep wherever I am.
That's what I get for placing religion in front of my getting to know my Lord.
Hurt by many, all Christian.
Why would I follow a group of people who screwed me?
Why, indeed
We are not here to follow man.
We are not here to let man dictate our salvation.
Damn the man to Hell who introduced religion into the world.
Leading millions astray, claiming what others need for redemption.
Read the freakin' Bible.
That's what I should've done.
Seek the Lord with all your heart and he will show himself to you.
Took me far too long to learn that.
Hindered my relationship with my Savior for years, and he still welcomed me back with open arms.
His prodigal son.
Listen to my words, and know my intentions.
He can and will do great things if you let him in.
Your human mind cannot fathom what he has in store if you just lay down your life.
Lay down your life.
You have it because of his blood, anyways.
4. I Don't Care If You Is From New York! You Can't Keep Taking Pictures Of Me Giving My Mom A Sponge Bath And Putting It On Instagram! 0:52
Do not belittle my worship because you don't understand it.
Do not belittle my form of worship because it is not yours.
The sole purpose I am writing this song is to glorify the King of Kings.
The Lord of Lords.
I will no longer let the church be my oppressor.
I will walk my own path, set by the creator of heaven.
I will live my life, only to set Jesus Christ on the highest podium I can possibly set.
So, as I praise my Lord the only way I know how, I lose control of my body to the music of which flows from my soul.
Ear-shattering to most.
I don't care what they think.
As long as you think it's beautiful.
Let those who don't know you hear this song and let them see that you are King.
You alone deserve praise.
You alone will receive my praise.
My king is alive.
Do you hear me, Satan?
You fallen-angel degenerate.
My king is alive.
To Hell With Pussy (split)
May 30, 2021, Imploding Sounds (Cassette, Digital)
To Hell With Religion also uploaded his tracks independently on Bandcamp.
1. To Hell With Religion - Music Theory And Song Structure? What Do I Look Like To You? A Competent Musician? 0:41
You freakin' hypocrite.
It must be nice not realizing your own faults while you condemn your so-called brother in Christ.
I can't believe I ever thought so highly of you.
I go to bed with visions of me strangling your ignorant neck.
Hypocrite.
Hypocrite.
Hypocrite.
Hypocrite.
Lord, how am I any different?
I'm no better than any man, let alone my fellow Christians.
These thoughts are not that of a Christ-follower.
These are of a worldly man.
I thought I was past that part of my life.
Sadly, I guess not.
Maybe this is a growing opportunity for me to further my faith and relationship with you, Father.
This is painful and gut-wrenching, but I accept this path you sent before me.
2. To Hell With Religion - The Only F Word I Know Is Frozen Bagel Bites 0:45
At the end of the day, all my hate is into this song, but what has it accomplished?
Lost a friend, lost a ministry, dear God, I am a failure.
How can you convince me otherwise?
Everything I try I fail.
I let down everyone.
Friends, family, the Church.
Lord, I ask you, how do you see me?
Do you still see me as your son?
How on Earth can you?
Why do you love me the way you do?
I'm one big screwup.
These questions are not a sign of disbelief, but me just in awe of how glorious you truly are, Lord.
I'm not happy with where I'm at, and I promise to keep moving forward, with the strength you promise to provide.
You are my Savior, my rock, and my best friend.
Thank you for this hardship to remind me I still have a long way to go.
I will never be perfect, but you know that already.
Hallelujah.
3. To Hell With Religion - One Time I Poured 2 Gallons Of Milk And Chocolate Syrup Over Myself In My Friend's Backyard. He Wouldn't Let Me In His House Until He Hosed Me Off. It Was 7 A.M. In September. I Was Cold. 0:48
I'm remembering why I left the church in the first place.
Surrounded by everyone's pedestals.
Is this really what you think Christianity is?
I know I am not perfect, but there is a difference between condemning and counseling your hurt brother.
Maybe I'm being sensitive, or maybe this is why so many people have a problem with Christianity.
Lord, don't take this song as an offense, for you I still have my heart set for.
I just need your help more than I realized.
4. To Hell With Religion - Hey, Pretty Lady, You French? Because You Smell Like Garbage And Have Facial Hair Thicker Than I Do. 0:37
I pray this is just a season I am going through, because I feel nothing but hate and resentment towards your children, Lord.
Who am I to bring to light their misdeeds?
I'd be a hypocrite to say I never acted like this before, or that I won't again, but I need to cry out, Lord.
Give me peace and patience while I go through this season.
Who's to say I'm not just being sensitive here?
I need to hear you, Lord.
I need your help forgiving my fellow man.
I feel nothing but the Devil's grip on my heart.
Another Crappy EP About Me Crying About Being A Hypocritical Christian (EP, May 31, 2021, Coleiosis Records) (Digital)
Includes all the tracks from the split "To Hell With Pussy", now as a separate EP.
1. Music Theory And Song Structure? What Do I Look Like To You? A Competent Musician? 0:41
You freakin' hypocrite.
It must be nice not realizing your own faults while you condemn your so-called brother in Christ.
I can't believe I ever thought so highly of you.
I go to bed with visions of me strangling your ignorant neck.
Hypocrite.
Hypocrite.
Hypocrite.
Hypocrite.
Lord, how am I any different?
I'm no better than any man, let alone my fellow Christians.
These thoughts are not that of a Christ-follower.
These are of a worldly man.
I thought I was past that part of my life.
Sadly, I guess not.
Maybe this is a growing opportunity for me to further my faith and relationship with you, Father.
This is painful and gut-wrenching, but I accept this path you sent before me.
2. The Only F Word I Know Is Frozen Bagel Bites 0:45
At the end of the day, all my hate is into this song, but what has it accomplished?
Lost a friend, lost a ministry, dear God, I am a failure.
How can you convince me otherwise?
Everything I try I fail.
I let down everyone.
Friends, family, the Church.
Lord, I ask you, how do you see me?
Do you still see me as your son?
How on Earth can you?
Why do you love me the way you do?
I'm one big screwup.
These questions are not a sign of disbelief, but me just in awe of how glorious you truly are, Lord.
I'm not happy with where I'm at, and I promise to keep moving forward, with the strength you promise to provide.
You are my Savior, my rock, and my best friend.
Thank you for this hardship to remind me I still have a long way to go.
I will never be perfect, but you know that already.
Hallelujah.
3. One Time I Poured 2 Gallons Of Milk And Chocolate Syrup Over Myself In My Friend's Backyard. He Wouldn't Let Me In His House Until He Hosed Me Off. It Was 7 A.M. In September. I Was Cold. 0:48
I'm remembering why I left the church in the first place.
Surrounded by everyone's pedestals.
Is this really what you think Christianity is?
I know I am not perfect, but there is a difference between condemning and counseling your hurt brother.
Maybe I'm being sensitive, or maybe this is why so many people have a problem with Christianity.
Lord, don't take this song as an offense, for you I still have my heart set for.
I just need your help more than I realized.
4. Hey, Pretty Lady, You French? Because You Smell Like Garbage And Have Facial Hair Thicker Than I Do. 0:37
I pray this is just a season I am going through, because I feel nothing but hate and resentment towards your children, Lord.
Who am I to bring to light their misdeeds?
I'd be a hypocrite to say I never acted like this before, or that I won't again, but I need to cry out, Lord.
Give me peace and patience while I go through this season.
Who's to say I'm not just being sensitive here?
I need to hear you, Lord.
I need your help forgiving my fellow man.
I feel nothing but the Devil's grip on my heart.
Lights Of Our Lives (split)
August 15, 2021, I, Eternal Records (Digital)
August 15, 2021, Independent (Digital)
August 15, 2021, Coleiosis Records (Digital)
1. To Hell With Religion - I Was Talking To The Guy In Front Of Me In Arby's About How Belly Button Lint Is Underrated. He Turned Around And Punched Me In The Mouth. 1:07
Thank you for the patience you show me which I wish I had myself.
I thank you for letting me praise and worship you in my own unique way.
Lord, I am right where I need to be because you put me here for a reason.
I am just the way I am because of your plan for me.
I admit, there's been struggles and strife.
I still don't mesh with those around me.
But, why should I?
You made me this way for a reason.
Lord, I thank you for the platform you've trusted me with.
Yes, I am not perfect, but I thank you and praise you for giving me a unique way of living and thinking to better glorify and praise your name.
Jesus Christ is Lord of all.
2. To Hell With Religion - Scratch My Back, And I'll Scratch Yours. I'll Help You Find Your Kidnapped Son, Only If You Help Me Dumpster Dive For Empty Ketchup Packets. Deal? 0:53
How great it is to serve the King of Kings?
When I hear his name, my mood changes.
When I hear his name in vain, I feel my face get red from anger and fear.
How great it is to know Jesus Christ, the perfect lamb who lived better than any before or after.
His presence I wouldn't trade for any plunder.
Nothing on this Earth compares to the one I get to meet face-to-face after my breath stops.
I thank you for my comfortable home and job I love, but if you were to take them away, I am still full.
Pursuing a wife is insignificant compared to pursuing a deeper relationship with the one who crafted me in my mother's womb.
Lord Jesus, I only want what you want for me.
Take my pride. Take my ego. Take my selfishness and banish them so I can live and love as your Son did when he walked this Earth.
I find comfort and I am content in you, but, please, never extinguish this fire in my soul that burns to be more like you.
3. To Hell With Religion - The First Thing I'm Going To Do As President Of The United States Is Blow Up Every Car I See With A Rhode Island License Plate Because NO ONE IN THAT STATE KNOWS HOW TO DRIVE! 1:02
You truly are my source of happiness.
I remember the days when I thought I had it all figured out.
Big shot with social status and a hot girlfriend.
I envied no man. So I thought.
I ignored the pain I felt.
I ignored the emptiness within my heart.
I refused to believe in feelings, lets alone one and graven and debilitating such as this.
But, God, I had you in my life, do I not?
I may knew of you, but I definitely didn't know you!
What a difference now, Lord!
Human companionship in all forms is desirable, yes, but never again will they be in front of knowing my King.
A man who finds a wife finds favor from the Lord, yes. But a single man has the blessing of sharing the troubles of his Lord.
I am yours. And you are mine.
4. To Hell With Religion - Does Anybody Know If Taylor Swift Is Down To Do A Split? If She Is, Tell Her To Add Me On AIM, So We Can Plan It Through. My AIM Username Is XxwhydontmyparentslovemexX 1:17
Lord, am I doing enough?
Yes, I know you, but the world doesn't.
How can I love more?
How can I be set apart more for you?
I admit, sometimes I have no idea if I'm making a difference.
In an age of self-gratification and a "screw you" to anybody who comes in between that, we need you now more than ever.
We are drifting farther and farther away.
Please, people, read Zechariah 12 and see how opposing Israel will lead to your demise.
I am scared for this world.
I am scared for the children being brought into this world.
Lord, I know your anger is just and like a fire, but these people are ignorant.
They don't know any better.
I, honestly, doubt this song will change anybody's opinion, Lord.
Lead me down the right road to help the lost not only see their sin, but to show them their way out.
I don't know where I would be without you.
I can't imagine how these people are living in today's world without your comfort.
To Hell With Residential Schools (split)
September 5, 2021, Independent (Digital)
September 5, 2021, Cultuscopy (Digital)
As the cover art and first half of the split suggests, the tracks by Krok Skin Nekrosis is obviously not Christian, while the To Hell With Religion tracks are.
5. To Hell With Religion - *Me Trying To Sweet Talk My Way Out Of A Speeding Ticket* I'll Have You Know, Officer, That I Have The Greatest Toenails This Side Of Mississippi 0:48
It's the same old story.
I think this one is on me.
Somewhere along the lines, I got the idea I was going to have a perfect life.
I don't know why that would be the case, when I am told to live my life as a servant.
Who am I to demand things be a certain way when the Son of Man let himself be nailed to a cross?
I'm so pissed off at myself for being pissed off.
Every freakin' day my mind is my own worst enemy.
That, or Satan really is seeping into my thoughts.
I see everyone around me getting rest and peace at the end of their days.
Lord, where is mine?
Every day is the same old thing.
If this really is all that's left, I don't want to live any longer.
Send me home.
6. To Hell With Religion - Dog Fur Taste Best In The Winter Time 0:50
You'd think with the way I so often think of myself I was Christ Jesus, the King, himself.
How easy, for me, as a man who knows God, to feel like a better man because of it?
How on Earth can I show your love to those who don't know you when I build a pedestal in my mind to Lord over them?
I can't. And I won't.
In the same breath, I hate my Christian brothers and sisters for their pride.
How am I any different?
What makes me exempt from this downfall?
I am a hypocrite. I am the stereotypical Christian who gives us all a bad name.
We all fall short of your Son.
I know that to be true.
Yet, I always classify myself as a "good" Christian, like there is even one.
Show me a man, and you can name countless sins and lies he has committed.
Shame. We are all an embarrassment.
It's our human nature, but it's all our fault.
Christ, my Lord, I am not in high spirits as of late.
But wallowing and being angry is not going to save any lives.
Kick me in my butt, and remind me of the joy that is deep within me.
I have hope in you alone. That is where my faith abides.
That is where my joy stems from.
It's my fault I let myself get this cynical.
But, God, I am so very tired.
7. To Hell With Religion - 90 Percent Of The Grind Scene Is Alt-Left. 90 Percent Of Those Dudes Idolize Seth Putnam. Think About It. 1:08
"Leave me alone."
Would Jesus ever think this when he would walk into a house of worship?
Absolutely not. So, why is it mine?
Shouldn't I be happy to have Christian friends?
That's what my heart yearned for for years.
Now that I have it, I want almost nothing to do with it.
Is this my stupidity? Is this my angst?
Or, is this Satan planting seeds, trying to get me to leave my current role?
I said it many times before, and I'll say it again.
Satan, you corrupt scoundrel, leave me alone.
You may have left God's arms.
You may have left his plans for you.
I never will.
Even if it causes heartache and pain.
I am never leaving my God-given post.
Lord, I have no idea what is wrong with me.
I may never know this side of eternity.
I am okay with that.
I may be hurt and confused, but I will never again be lost.
8. To Hell With Religion - What Do You Do When You Live In A Shoe And You Ain't Got No Soul? 1:04
I praise your name for how different you made me.
Yet, I also have endless questions as to why.
Why me, Father?
I have so much confusion as to how I got to this point.
I know that your plan will never be in vain.
I know that you are to never be questioned.
I'm just worried I'm not chasing after what you want me to chase after.
27 years of age and still so many questions.
I'm scared of disappointing you. And I fear your anger if I am going down the path you don't want for me.
My heart yearns for more.
And how selfish am I to want more?
My riches expand greater than I could ever know.
My salvation is reason enough for shouting your name til my throat is sore.
I see my friends with their picture book, happy endings.
Where is mine?
Is there one in store?
I am not questioning your plans or your being, God.
I just don't want these feelings anymore if they aren't mine to hold.
Wall Breaker (EP, September 8, 2021, Coleiosis Records) (Digital)
Tracks taken from the split "To Hell With Residential Schools".
1. *Me Trying To Sweet Talk My Way Out Of A Speeding Ticket* I'll Have You Know, Officer, That I Have The Greatest Toenails This Side Of Mississippi 0:48
It's the same old story.
I think this one is on me.
Somewhere along the lines, I got the idea I was going to have a perfect life.
I don't know why that would be the case, when I am told to live my life as a servant.
Who am I to demand things be a certain way when the Son of Man let himself be nailed to a cross?
I'm so pissed off at myself for being pissed off.
Every freakin' day my mind is my own worst enemy.
That, or Satan really is seeping into my thoughts.
I see everyone around me getting rest and peace at the end of their days.
Lord, where is mine?
Every day is the same old thing.
If this really is all that's left, I don't want to live any longer.
Send me home.
2. Dog Fur Taste Best In The Winter Time 0:50
You'd think with the way I so often think of myself I was Christ Jesus, the King, himself.
How easy, for me, as a man who knows God, to feel like a better man because of it?
How on Earth can I show your love to those who don't know you when I build a pedestal in my mind to Lord over them?
I can't. And I won't.
In the same breath, I hate my Christian brothers and sisters for their pride.
How am I any different?
What makes me exempt from this downfall?
I am a hypocrite. I am the stereotypical Christian who gives us all a bad name.
We all fall short of your Son.
I know that to be true.
Yet, I always classify myself as a "good" Christian, like there is even one.
Show me a man, and you can name countless sins and lies he has committed.
Shame. We are all an embarrassment.
It's our human nature, but it's all our fault.
Christ, my Lord, I am not in high spirits as of late.
But wallowing and being angry is not going to save any lives.
Kick me in my butt, and remind me of the joy that is deep within me.
I have hope in you alone. That is where my faith abides.
That is where my joy stems from.
It's my fault I let myself get this cynical.
But, God, I am so very tired.
3. 90 Percent Of The Grind Scene Is Alt-Left. 90 Percent Of Those Dudes Idolize Seth Putnam. Think About It. 1:08
"Leave me alone."
Would Jesus ever think this when he would walk into a house of worship?
Absolutely not. So, why is it mine?
Shouldn't I be happy to have Christian friends?
That's what my heart yearned for for years.
Now that I have it, I want almost nothing to do with it.
Is this my stupidity? Is this my angst?
Or, is this Satan planting seeds, trying to get me to leave my current role?
I said it many times before, and I'll say it again.
Satan, you corrupt scoundrel, leave me alone.
You may have left God's arms.
You may have left his plans for you.
I never will.
Even if it causes heartache and pain.
I am never leaving my God-given post.
Lord, I have no idea what is wrong with me.
I may never know this side of eternity.
I am okay with that.
I may be hurt and confused, but I will never again be lost.
4. What Do You Do When You Live In A Shoe And You Ain't Got No Soul? 1:04
I praise your name for how different you made me.
Yet, I also have endless questions as to why.
Why me, Father?
I have so much confusion as to how I got to this point.
I know that your plan will never be in vain.
I know that you are to never be questioned.
I'm just worried I'm not chasing after what you want me to chase after.
27 years of age and still so many questions.
I'm scared of disappointing you. And I fear your anger if I am going down the path you don't want for me.
My heart yearns for more.
And how selfish am I to want more?
My riches expand greater than I could ever know.
My salvation is reason enough for shouting your name til my throat is sore.
I see my friends with their picture book, happy endings.
Where is mine?
Is there one in store?
I am not questioning your plans or your being, God.
I just don't want these feelings anymore if they aren't mine to hold.
4 Out Of 5 Lithuanian Llamas Agree: Grindcore Tastes Rad On Pizza (split)
October 16, 2021, Coleiosis Records (Digital)
October 17, 2021, Independent (Digital)
5. To Hell With Religion - Big Mike Drives Big Truck That Goes Vroom Vroom 0:46
Just a sinful man with a sinful heart.
I would never be just to be in the presence of God.
Yet, I get to talk to him, day and night.
How can this be?
Jesus Christ, Lord of Heaven and Earth.
The perfect Lamb who left his throne in the Kingdom of Heaven is how.
Lived a sinless life.
No blemish.
No hint of greed.
No temptation too powerful to detract him from his goal.
To free mankind of their sins.
His sinless life was the only way to break the letter of the law we had grown accustomed to.
His perfect life.
The perfect sacrifice.
I accept this free gift.
Do you?
6. To Hell With Religion - If You Think Socialism Is So Great, Go Move To Venezuela And Let Me Know What You Think In A Week 1:17
A degenerate man with a selfish heart.
How could I possibly be used for God?
How could he make use of a man-child, such as myself?
Do I not remember how the disciples were all sinners?
Did they not squawk about their roles between one another?
Did not their mothers try to bribe Jesus to exalt them?
Why then, do I belittle myself and my use for the King of Kings?
God does not make man perfect.
But he does equip the willing to do his work.
Oh, Heavenly Father!
What a joy it is to serve thee!
Everything from my job, to my role in my church, to making grind music.
I know I am being used!
Thank you for answering my prayers.
Thank you for comforting me when I didn't see my self worth.
I will shout your name for all to hear for the rest of my life.
7. To Hell With Religion - I Played A Song I Made To My Sister While She Was Visiting My House A Few Months Ago To Annoy Her. It Worked. It Also Made Her 3 Year Old Cry. This Song Is Dedicated To You, Levi. 1:26
A broken man with a broken heart.
12 years of love thrown down the drain because of one selfish night.
Loved as though God loved the church.
Selfless.
Caring.
Supportive.
She wanted to see what the other side held.
The only man she ever was with was not enough.
Gave into lust, without batting an eye.
An adultress.
She had no remorse.
She thought he would never find out.
He felt her attitude shift.
Lies and late nights are never a good mix.
Now, he cries himself to sleep wondering what he did wrong.
Alas, he can't find any comfort in this mourning.
High school sweethearts no more.
2 kids and a home go up in flames.
He turns to the God he swore never existed.
His hope that was once with his wife is now in the Lord, God Almighty.
He cannot be shaken.
For our God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
He extends out his hand to offer healing and restoration.
Now it's her turn to heal.
8. To Hell With Religion - I Recorded Guitars And Vocals For This Song While I Had Guys Over My House Installing Solar Panels Onto My Roof. They Heard Everything I Did That Day. Needless To Say, They Aren't Big Fans Of My Work. 1:12
I submit to you my life as a child takes after his father.
But, as a man loves his wife, so you love me.
And I know you will do what is best for me.
You've given a man with worldly use a purpose.
You loved me when I was unlovable.
You protected me during my youth when I cared not what you thought.
You left the 99 to take me back under your wings like that of a hen with her chicks.
You spoke into my soul what I needed to do, and despite my initial, fight, I did what I know was right.
I turned my life over to you.
Instantly, I saw fruit being bared.
I felt your presence when I prayed, and joy overpowered me.
I saw the hurt I caused to so many, and you forgave me.
Never let me stop growing.
Never let my heart stop wanting more.
I will never be perfect, but by your Son's sacrifice, I don't have to be.
Hallelujah to the highest.
They Don't Know What I Go Through At Home (split/EP)
Split:
February 11, 2022, Independent (Digital)
February 12, 2022, Imploding Sounds (Digital)
EP:
February 12, 2022, Coleiosis Records (Digital)
The Coleiosis version does not include the SpermaNoise tracks, thus making it a separate EP.
2. To Hell With Religion - When I Was In Middle School, The Girl Who Always Chewed On Her Own Hair And Had Tourettes Gave Me A Hug. I Haven't Had Any Human Contact Since. I Peaked In Middle School. 0:56
Burnt out, stressed out, end of my rope.
Whatever you call this, I'm so freakin' exhausted.
I don't know how to turn my mind off.
I don't know how to say no.
You pushed me my entire life
Why are you telling me to stop now?
I can't stop the trends that were beat into me as a child.
You built the building blocks as high as they could go.
How dare you try to dismantle them now.
Leave home at 6 A.M., get home at 9 P.M.
Throughout the day, more and more gets added to my plate.
Home is a mess, not a refuge.
Just a place where I get to sleep 5 hours and get back up and do it again.
Jesus Christ, please come now.
3. To Hell With Religion - Moving To Gary, Indiana To Start A Stray Mice Farm 0:48
Laying in bed.
Can't sleep.
Mind a mile a minute.
Endless thoughts.
Too much commitment for one man not named Christ.
I plead for your supernatural strength to guide me through this painfully long season.
A season I thought would've been over by now.
A season I'm starting to think is a lifetime.
I thank you for your plans for me and how I see I am being used.
But where the heck is my rest?
I'm sorry for my anger.
I'm sorry for my resentment.
But when is this going to freakin' end?
Even you had a day of rest when you created the Heavens and the Earth.
Why don't I get one?
Please, don't mistake my cry out as rude or sinful.
I'm just stretched so thin.
4. To Hell With Religion - Deep-Fried Peanut Butter And Mayonnaise Balls Are What Every Olympic Athlete Enjoys Before A Big Training Session. It Also Gives Them Explosive Vomiting. 0:58
I'll never forget the way I felt when I was in your presence.
Scared, unloved, useless.
Things that pain me to write.
Things I still hide from everyone who doesn't read these stupid lyrics.
How could you look your only son in the eyes and tell him you don't love him?
Was it out of anger, or am I really just such a disappointment?
I was not an angel, I know, but I can't help but to think if I was raised with love instead of the whip my rebellious phase would've been one of a normalized nature instead of one set out to hurt and offend the way I was when I was most vulnerable.
I'm not blaming you for my sins, but if you claim to be a Christian, act like one and don't use your only son as a ragdoll when you had a bad day.
5. To Hell With Religion - For Crying Out Loud, Julie! How About You Act Like A Man For A Change And Unclog The Toilet With Your Bare Hands?! 1:15
Feelings I stored up for so long are now boiling over.
It's nice to force small talk with each other like we have a normal relationship, but my heart just feels so heavy when we socialize.
Mom told me about your upbringing, and now I'm starting to see how the trend continues.
Maybe I see why God is keeping me without a wife.
To prevent the disastrous trend from continuing.
How many young men will be broken by their fathers?
God, I would love a wife and kids.
That's about the only thing that hasn't blessed my young life yet.
But, if I can't raise and love them right, please, let the family name end with me.
Earthly father, I don't know if I'll ever muster the courage to say these words to you, but if you ever hear this song and read these lyrics, just know I do love you, and while I know we don't see eye-to-eye on anything, I now know you never meant to hurt me as a kid.
I forgive you for everything.
To Hell With Religion / Vitimas Do Crack (split)
April 2, 2022, Don't Stop Noise Records (Digital)
April 2, 2022, Independent (Digital)
1. To Hell With Religion - Remember When Hardcore Bands Didn't Have Flower Designs On Their Band Merch? Or, How About When Band Members Looked Hardcore Instead Of Like A 1950's Bully? Or, How About When Hardcore Used To Actually Be Good? Those Were The Days. 1:03
If I hear another person in my church make an excuse because of COVID, I'm going to lose my mind.
Do you not think the God of the universe can handle a man-made virus?
You mean to tell me you're more scared of what that scumbag Faucii spews than being more secure in our Lord's arms?
Where is your faith?
Where is your trust in the one who breathed breath into you?
You're 22 years old, double-masking, and using this as an excuse to not get a job.
Your parents must be so proud.
Thank God you still have the courage to go out to the clubs and hook up with random dudes.
I don't care how rude this sounds, the time for taking a stand and confronting what is right and what is just is now.
For the Lord, Jesus Christ, himself, would not allow such deplorable men to enter his heart and mislead him with a media-soaked agenda.
2. To Hell With Religion - Well, I Can Finally Cross Seeing Two Fat Emo Kids Making Out At A Cannibal Corpse Concert Off My Bucket List 1:01
If you claim to be a Christian, but worry more about your followers on Instagram than you do about growing in your walk with Jesus, you worry me.
Your laziness and inattention to the Bible is the reason why the world leaders are able to form their debauchery.
I understand Jesus would be a form of a social justice warrior, when it comes to actual injustice.
Illegal immigrants do not have a right to come to America to push drugs and sell 13-year-old girls to sex slavery.
And, yes, that is a good percentage of illegal immigrants.
We also need to be good stewards of what the Lord, our God, has blessed us with.
What about the homeless veteran living on the streets struggling with addiction?
Or, is his life irrelevant because he's a white dude?
Be consistent.
Be freaking consistent.
3. To Hell With Religion - Ten Bucks Says Justin Trudeau Is Making Out With His Cat Right Now 0:58
Surprise, surprise.
The girl with a Bible verse in her Twitter bio is pregnant out of wedlock.
Our moral compass is broken.
Jesus' blood was not a get-out-of-Hell-free card.
It is not an excuse to give into every temptation of the flesh.
We are to take up our crosses, and join the Lord, our King, Jesus, in what he started.
Easy? No.
Worth it? 100%
Stop letting the here-and-now distract you from what is important.
I know you're tired from working part-time at Dairy Queen, but that's not an excuse to waste your life on a couch.
You have Jesus in your heart?
Cool. Congratulations.
When was the last time you did the Lord's work?
How about go to church?
Or, I don't know, read your bible?
It's a cool little book to keep on your nightstand to show your parents you care.
It might be hard to convince the Lord when he sees the inch of dust caked on to it.
4. To Hell With Religion - Someone Inform The Band Members Of Garbage Mustard To Put Back Their Music On Their Bandcamp Page Before I Walk To Brazil And Sue Them For...I Don't Know. Something, I Guess. I'll Think Of Something. Adulatory. Yeah. That. 1:22
Lord, is this the end times?
No one cares.
Even men who claim to follow you don't see the evil that they support daily.
Corrupt leaders with intent to bind us together.
Together in a one-world government.
Together in a one-world religion.
False prophets in congress.
False prophets in robes.
Turmoil in the Middle East.
Israel, constantly the subject of ridicule.
Jesus, if I did not have you in my heart, I would be terrified.
I thank you for the rock and trust that you will have everything in your grasp when you come down on your heavenly cloud.
Father, as time goes on, I grow weak.
I am not as you are.
I am quick to anger.
I am as prideful as a whore.
These are not Godly qualities.
I will only further myself from you with them.
I submit to you my life and my heart.
As you call and lead me into darkness, remind me I am not here to glorify myself, as I so often do.
Jesus, this life, this pedestal, it's for you.
Give me the strength, Jesus.
And help me not be a hypocrite.
Take my anger, and renew me in your love.
Jesus Christ, I am yours.
Amen.
Noisecore Graveyard (EP, June 30, 2022, Coleiosis Records) (Digital)
Tracks taken from split with Vitimas Do Crack.
1. Remember When Hardcore Bands Didn't Have Flower Designs On Their Band Merch? Or, How About When Band Members Looked Hardcore Instead Of Like A 1950's Bully? Or, How About When Hardcore Used To Actually Be Good? Those Were The Days. 1:03
If I hear another person in my church make an excuse because of COVID, I'm going to lose my mind.
Do you not think the God of the universe can handle a man-made virus?
You mean to tell me you're more scared of what that scumbag Faucii spews than being more secure in our Lord's arms?
Where is your faith?
Where is your trust in the one who breathed breath into you?
You're 22 years old, double-masking, and using this as an excuse to not get a job.
Your parents must be so proud.
Thank God you still have the courage to go out to the clubs and hook up with random dudes.
I don't care how rude this sounds, the time for taking a stand and confronting what is right and what is just is now.
For the Lord, Jesus Christ, himself, would not allow such deplorable men to enter his heart and mislead him with a media-soaked agenda.
2. Well, I Can Finally Cross Seeing Two Fat Emo Kids Making Out At A Cannibal Corpse Concert Off My Bucket List 1:01
If you claim to be a Christian, but worry more about your followers on Instagram than you do about growing in your walk with Jesus, you worry me.
Your laziness and inattention to the Bible is the reason why the world leaders are able to form their debauchery.
I understand Jesus would be a form of a social justice warrior, when it comes to actual injustice.
Illegal immigrants do not have a right to come to America to push drugs and sell 13-year-old girls to sex slavery.
And, yes, that is a good percentage of illegal immigrants.
We also need to be good stewards of what the Lord, our God, has blessed us with.
What about the homeless veteran living on the streets struggling with addiction?
Or, is his life irrelevant because he's a white dude?
Be consistent.
Be freaking consistent.
3. Ten Bucks Says Justin Trudeau Is Making Out With His Cat Right Now 0:58
Surprise, surprise.
The girl with a Bible verse in her Twitter bio is pregnant out of wedlock.
Our moral compass is broken.
Jesus' blood was not a get-out-of-Hell-free card.
It is not an excuse to give into every temptation of the flesh.
We are to take up our crosses, and join the Lord, our King, Jesus, in what he started.
Easy? No.
Worth it? 100%
Stop letting the here-and-now distract you from what is important.
I know you're tired from working part-time at Dairy Queen, but that's not an excuse to waste your life on a couch.
You have Jesus in your heart?
Cool. Congratulations.
When was the last time you did the Lord's work?
How about go to church?
Or, I don't know, read your bible?
It's a cool little book to keep on your nightstand to show your parents you care.
It might be hard to convince the Lord when he sees the inch of dust caked on to it.
4. Someone Inform The Band Members Of Garbage Mustard To Put Back Their Music On Their Bandcamp Page Before I Walk To Brazil And Sue Them For...I Don't Know. Something, I Guess. I'll Think Of Something. Adulatory. Yeah. That. 1:22
Lord, is this the end times?
No one cares.
Even men who claim to follow you don't see the evil that they support daily.
Corrupt leaders with intent to bind us together.
Together in a one-world government.
Together in a one-world religion.
False prophets in congress.
False prophets in robes.
Turmoil in the Middle East.
Israel, constantly the subject of ridicule.
Jesus, if I did not have you in my heart, I would be terrified.
I thank you for the rock and trust that you will have everything in your grasp when you come down on your heavenly cloud.
Father, as time goes on, I grow weak.
I am not as you are.
I am quick to anger.
I am as prideful as a whore.
These are not Godly qualities.
I will only further myself from you with them.
I submit to you my life and my heart.
As you call and lead me into darkness, remind me I am not here to glorify myself, as I so often do.
Jesus, this life, this pedestal, it's for you.
Give me the strength, Jesus.
And help me not be a hypocrite.
Take my anger, and renew me in your love.
Jesus Christ, I am yours.
Amen.
5. Remember When You Guys Didn't Vote For Trump Because He Said Mean Stuff On Twitter? Well, Congratulations. The Idiot That Took His Place Doesn't Know What Planet He Is On, And Now Russia Invaded Ukraine. 0:52
Wars and rumors of wars.
We are in the midst of the mighty birth pains Lord Jesus mentioned on the Mount of Olives.
Am I afraid? No.
Am I pissed off? You better believe it.
You have this midget in Russia invading an innocent civilization, but the most powerful man in the world is too busy wiping the drool from his chin.
His sidekick is so removed from reality, she thinks all we need to do is "Go green" to save us from this plight.
No one could've predicted the most powerful nation in the world could turn so stupid in a matter of a year.
We need to stop looking to the left or to the right for our help.
We need to start looking up to the man who lived before we.
He is the only one who can save us from ourselves.
We don't deserve his saving grace.
We should be left here to deal with our own self-brining.
Alas, nothing we can do can stop this war.
We need to realize our own humanity.
Jesus Christ, sweep across the nations.
Let us see in the midst of tragedy the best has yet to come.
All evildoers' time has a limit.
You will be victorious at the end.
I can't wait to be there with you.
Tactical Violence (split, June 5, 2023, Independent) (Digital)
5. To Hell With Religion - If Your Three-Month-Old Doesn't Stop Looking At Me Like That, I'm Gonna Have To Come Over There And Teach It A Lesson 1:26
No matter how much I grow.
No matter how much I learn, I can't help but remember how much pain the church has caused me.
Made different in your image for your purpose, yet the body sees me as unworthy.
Why?
Long hair and skinny jeans.
Harsh music that confuses them.
As the Lord has said himself,
"I have followers of people you do not even know about."
Open up your freakin' eyes to the people who are coming to your church who still don't know who Jesus is.
How about taking the time to go up to someone who isn't dressed nice and who is sitting all alone who is probably at their wits end and just trying to find comfort.
You know, like Jesus would've done.
No matter how much time has passed, I just can't fully let this go, can I?
6. To Hell With Religion - I Don't Care What Your Political Beliefs Are, If You Don't Think Joe Biden Isn't The Cutest Little Thing, I Don't Trust Your Ability To Make Decisions 1:24
How mighty is the Christian, who always says the right thing in public and whose expensive clothes they wear to church makes the Lord's heart jump with glee.
Glory be to the one who doesn't even pray during the week unless it's for selfish endeavors.
I feel like I'm screaming into the void.
No good deed obtains salvation.
No amount of wrong can keep those who truly repent away from the Kingdom of glory.
Believe in the Lord, Jesus Christ, and call on his name alone to save you from yourself.
Not the virgin mother.
Not the pedophile ring in the Vatican.
Stop praying to saints to forgive you and give you prosperity.
Read this book before you and see that all gifts, the Lord so chooses to freely give up.
The Levites had the synagogue.
Israel had the Lord choose them, despite their countless rebellions against him.
And the Gentiles have the beauty and privilege to be included in that remnant.
Not because we earned it.
Because God loves us all.
Equally.
7. To Hell With Religion - Speaking Of French Fries, Did You Guys See That Really Fat Chick That Just Threw Up All Over The Sidewalk? 1:13
While time passes from my lowest point, I do remember how your power healed me and comforted me when I was all alone.
But yet, there are countless others who have never felt compassion and love from those who follow you.
How are we the body if we exclude others?
Gay, transgender, alcoholic, murderer, defiler, blasphemous, rapist.
The list goes on.
My sin is no lighter than any of theirs.
Just more "acceptable" by the church.
God remind us that we can't show anybody who you are if we make them meet a certain standard before you change their hearts.
You've blessed with eyes to see and ears that hear.
A soft heart that was able to receive your love.
Remind us of the blessing we have to be set out, and with your power, to plant seeds wherever you may have us.
Jesus, as I write this, you know all my past hurt and sin.
Cleanse me not only from the pain that was caused to me by your followers, purge me of the pride that could lead me to do the same to a young man who just wants to feel loved and accepted for the first time in his life.
8. To Hell With Religion - While Joining Your Rap Group Does Sound Enticing, Jamal, I Have To Decline. I'm What The Hip-Hop Community Describes As "An Ugly, Stupid Jerk Who Doesn't Shower Properly". 2:07
Quarreling about doctrine and fighting over follow is unacceptable to the Lord.
Why do we spend so much time at odds with one another because of our differences?
Don't mishear me, we need to purge the evil from within.
We are not to misinterpret Scripture to feed ourselves.
Lord, I ask you to show us all how to live in harmony with one another.
Because you know just how hypocritical I am being writing these songs.
"Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. One person's faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand."
(Romans 14:1-4)
Isolation (EP, June 5, 2023, Coleiosis Records) (Digital)
Tracks taken from the split "Tactical Violence" with the exception of track 5 which is new.
1. If Your Three-Month-Old Doesn't Stop Looking At Me Like That, I'm Gonna Have To Come Over There And Teach It A Lesson 1:26
No matter how much I grow.
No matter how much I learn, I can't help but remember how much pain the church has caused me.
Made different in your image for your purpose, yet the body sees me as unworthy.
Why?
Long hair and skinny jeans.
Harsh music that confuses them.
As the Lord has said himself,
"I have followers of people you do not even know about."
Open up your freakin' eyes to the people who are coming to your church who still don't know who Jesus is.
How about taking the time to go up to someone who isn't dressed nice and who is sitting all alone who is probably at their wits end and just trying to find comfort.
You know, like Jesus would've done.
No matter how much time has passed, I just can't fully let this go, can I?
2. I Don't Care What Your Political Beliefs Are, If You Don't Think Joe Biden Isn't The Cutest Little Thing, I Don't Trust Your Ability To Make Decisions 1:24
How mighty is the Christian, who always says the right thing in public and whose expensive clothes they wear to church makes the Lord's heart jump with glee.
Glory be to the one who doesn't even pray during the week unless it's for selfish endeavors.
I feel like I'm screaming into the void.
No good deed obtains salvation.
No amount of wrong can keep those who truly repent away from the Kingdom of glory.
Believe in the Lord, Jesus Christ, and call on his name alone to save you from yourself.
Not the virgin mother.
Not the pedophile ring in the Vatican.
Stop praying to saints to forgive you and give you prosperity.
Read this book before you and see that all gifts, the Lord so chooses to freely give up.
The Levites had the synagogue.
Israel had the Lord choose them, despite their countless rebellions against him.
And the Gentiles have the beauty and privilege to be included in that remnant.
Not because we earned it.
Because God loves us all.
Equally.
3. Speaking Of French Fries, Did You Guys See That Really Fat Chick That Just Threw Up All Over The Sidewalk? 1:13
While time passes from my lowest point, I do remember how your power healed me and comforted me when I was all alone.
But yet, there are countless others who have never felt compassion and love from those who follow you.
How are we the body if we exclude others?
Gay, transgender, alcoholic, murderer, defiler, blasphemous, rapist.
The list goes on.
My sin is no lighter than any of theirs.
Just more "acceptable" by the church.
God remind us that we can't show anybody who you are if we make them meet a certain standard before you change their hearts.
You've blessed with eyes to see and ears that hear.
A soft heart that was able to receive your love.
Remind us of the blessing we have to be set out, and with your power, to plant seeds wherever you may have us.
Jesus, as I write this, you know all my past hurt and sin.
Cleanse me not only from the pain that was caused to me by your followers, purge me of the pride that could lead me to do the same to a young man who just wants to feel loved and accepted for the first time in his life.
4. While Joining Your Rap Group Does Sound Enticing, Jamal, I Have To Decline. I'm What The Hip-Hop Community Describes As "An Ugly, Stupid Jerk Who Doesn't Shower Properly". 2:07
Quarreling about doctrine and fighting over follow is unacceptable to the Lord.
Why do we spend so much time at odds with one another because of our differences?
Don't mishear me, we need to purge the evil from within.
We are not to misinterpret Scripture to feed ourselves.
Lord, I ask you to show us all how to live in harmony with one another.
Because you know just how hypocritical I am being writing these songs.
"Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. One person's faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand."
(Romans 14:1-4)
5. Dear Diary: My Neighbor Joe Made Fun Of Me Again Today. He Said My Yard Sucked. One Day He Will See How Cool I Am And Will Want To Hang Out With Me. He Will Invite Me To Every Cookout He Says From Now Own. Until Then, I Plan To Go Cry In The Shower. Love, Your Best Friend Forever, Lee. 0:50
Quiet reflection brings to light all the gifts I have been blessed with.
Three ministries, with no end in sight for any.
Whether it be at work, at church, or in the grind scene, Jesus, send me where you call me to be.
Without you, these endeavors are nothing.
Anyone can deliver mail.
Anyone can be an oversized child.
Anyone can play crappy music.
Jesus, because of you these mean something.
Because of you, you take worldly things and desires and use them to bring you glory.
And I will scream your name until the last of my days or until you return on your white horse of righteousness.
Glory to the King of Kings.
Jesus Christ is his name.
The slaughtered lamb.
Paid the price for all.
Total Destruction Noisecore (split)
June 17, 2023, Independent (Digital)
June 18, 2023, Coleiosis Records (Digital)
1. To Hell With Religion - You Call It Your Boston Accent. I Call It A Speech Impediment. 0:51
Life full of meaning.
Endless gifts.
Overflowing bounty.
Proof of your love.
Why me, Father?
I don't understand your love.
I don't understand these gifts.
A disgusting sinner.
A worthless loser.
I, myself, am nothing.
Born with selflessness in my heart.
Nothing has changed.
Everyday I lust for laziness.
I yearn for things that will only bring me happiness.
I am a sloth.
I am a pig.
I am nothing.
But in you, Jesus, I am whole.
I am who you call me to be.
Not because I deserve this, but because you love me so.
Thank you for this life.
Thank you for your discipline that corrects my path.
Thank you that even on the worst days of my life I can call on the name of the Lord and you will give me comfort and joy.
Every day, though my heart is willing, my flesh is weak.
Forgive me for my daily sin, oh God.
2. To Hell With Religion - I'm Sorry, Shampoo Bottle, But You're Already My Best Friend. Wouldn't It Be Kinda Weird If We Started To Date? 0:44
I will sing a new song.
A song full of praise.
A song full of worship.
A song meant to glorify the one before me.
A song breeding hope and love.
Jesus, sweet Jesus, the name above every other name.
The only thing that makes me whole.
The only reason I am still breathing.
Glory and honor to the King.
Bringing of gifts.
Rich and bountiful is your love.
Make my enemies see your glory through me.
Rebuking Satan's presence as his earthly kingdom grows.
His power is but a whisper in the night compared to yours.
His heart a breeding ground for evil and corruption.
Cunning, yet deceitful.
Damn thee to Hell, Satan!
Your presence has no place without these walls.
Your influence has no place in this music.
No matter what the world thinks.
No matter where the King of the universe sends me, you will have no power and say over his will for me.
3. To Hell With Religion - Trying My Best Everyday To Be Like Jesus, But End Up Being Like Fry From Futurama Instead 0:46
How good to live in peace with God.
He alone settles my heart.
He makes my paths straight as an arrow, even though I may not see it.
Through my free will, and even sometimes my wrong decisions, he makes all things right.
Take my past, and not only forgive it, bring meaning to my transactions of old.
While I am born again, my past is unchanged.
My sin of yesterday no longer my shame.
Jesus, you know me better than I know myself.
To you, I submit who I am as a man.
This world, unchanged and closed off to your love.
Who is to say when you will return?
Make my days count.
Make my efforts stronger than myself.
To you, I submit everything about myself.
I am puddy in your hands.
Mend me.
Break me.
Restore me.
Bless me.
As long as it brings your name glory, let it be so.
4. To Hell With Religion - Girl, I Just Ate Two Slices Of Pizza In One Bite. What Do You Mean You're Not Interested In A Second Date? 1:03
Living my life as though I am still in high school.
Go to work, get out and go on my way.
See friends.
Goof around.
Play horrible music.
Adult in age only.
There is no resemblance of a man here.
Refusal to grow up.
Inability to mature.
Is this a sad song?
On the contrary!
Jesus, my Lord, this is a song of gratitude!
Only you could make this life a life to honor you.
Only you could bring meaning to a life full of silliness.
A job that I feel is no job at all, brings me more than enough financial security to afford a home, live comfortably, and have more than enough left over to bless those less fortunate than I.
A six foot six-year-old, who can relate to the next generation at times better than I can of those my own age.
See my heart for these children who you let me mentor.
Though I am more of a child than a teacher at this point, make my efforts fruitful, to show these children the love that is undeniable in the name of Jesus Christ.
I still can't believe this is my life.
3 Headed Abomination Split
July 24, 2023, Independent (Digital)
July 25, 2023, Stuart's Gore Records (Digital)
4. To Hell With Religion - Drinking Ten Gallons Of Pink Paint So I Can Finally Be Pretty On The Inside 1:00
Jesus Christ, Lord of Heaven and Earth.
How awesome are you?
Our God is an awesome God.
Someone, rejoice with me!
Our God is an awesome God.
Yet, when I look around, I don't see those who see you the way I do.
Maybe this isolation isn't the worst thing to happen.
All it's done is show me how much I need you.
It's shown me how much you love me.
I'll say this over and over, for all to hear.
I'm a mess-up.
An overgrown child who really can't do anything right.
Basic and common talents and gifts fly right over my head.
I don't belong at metal shows.
I don't belong at church.
No matter how much the church loves to say "There's always someone here like you!"
Give me a freakin' break.
I have yet to meet anyone like me.
Jesus if it wasn't for you, who knows where I'd end up?
All I know is, I hate this world, and you are what love is.
Show me your love, Lord.
I just wanna know your love.
5. To Hell With Religion - Posing As An Underage Hedgehog Online To Lure The Real Freaks Out 1:11
Dear Jesus, Lord of Heaven and Earth.
How great is your love?
Never failing.
Never ceasing.
Always ready to forgive.
The complete opposite of I.
Angry, selfish, spiteful.
These thoughts, these sins, they disgust me.
I am ashamed of what I think.
I am embarrassed by the emotions I feel.
My skin crawls when it's time to repent, because while you already know my every thought, I am mortified to have you know.
Jesus, I am completely and utterly imperfect.
There is no good in me.
Why do you allow such a great life?
If it wasn't for me, your will would still be accomplished.
I don't know why you died for me, but never let me forget how much I am below you.
Praise be to you, Jesus of Nazareth!!
Who alone set me free from the chains of death!
While I get scared of what it may lead to, I submit my life as a sacrifice.
Jesus, please, just be gentle with it.
6. To Hell With Religion - Actually, No, Matt, I Don't See Anything Wrong With Being A Twenty-Nine Year Old Man Who Still Goes Out And Buys Lunchables For Lunch. Their Name Has Freakin' Lunch In It! Stop Being Stupid. 0:55
Hey, you.
Yes, you.
Tired of feeling alone?
Tired of the empty feeling of meaningless in this temporary life?
Ever realize how many chicks you sleep with, you're still miserable in the morning?
Or no matter the high, the coming down is the reality you face?
It is not uncommon.
It is not a surprise to me.
You were created for so much more.
So much more than self pleasure.
And I'm not talking about finding happiness in another.
Or a job.
Or a hobby.
No.
The only true way to happiness is living with the God who created you so tender.
Who knows you better than you know yourself.
I'm sick and tired of seeing the scene the way it is.
Obsessed with sex.
Obsessed with drugs.
Obsessed with anything to numb their pain.
I am not discounting your pain, but I'm tired of your immature outlook.
Jesus died for you.
Jesus just wants to know you.
Don't let my 3rd grade vocabulary keep this message from you.
Any of you.
No matter what you've done.
No matter who you wronged.
You are forgiven
You are loved.
You are understood.
Do this for you, not for me.
Seek the God of the universe with all your heart, and he will not keep himself from you.
What would be the point of his death if he does?
Tracks taken from the split "3 Headed Abomination Split".
1. Drinking Ten Gallons Of Pink Paint So I Can Finally Be Pretty On The Inside 1:00
Jesus Christ, Lord of Heaven and Earth.
How awesome are you?
Our God is an awesome God.
Someone, rejoice with me!
Our God is an awesome God.
Yet, when I look around, I don't see those who see you the way I do.
Maybe this isolation isn't the worst thing to happen.
All it's done is show me how much I need you.
It's shown me how much you love me.
I'll say this over and over, for all to hear.
I'm a mess-up.
An overgrown child who really can't do anything right.
Basic and common talents and gifts fly right over my head.
I don't belong at metal shows.
I don't belong at church.
No matter how much the church loves to say "There's always someone here like you!"
Give me a freakin' break.
I have yet to meet anyone like me.
Jesus if it wasn't for you, who knows where I'd end up?
All I know is, I hate this world, and you are what love is.
Show me your love, Lord.
I just wanna know your love.
2. Posing As An Underage Hedgehog Online To Lure The Real Freaks Out 1:11
Dear Jesus, Lord of Heaven and Earth.
How great is your love?
Never failing.
Never ceasing.
Always ready to forgive.
The complete opposite of I.
Angry, selfish, spiteful.
These thoughts, these sins, they disgust me.
I am ashamed of what I think.
I am embarrassed by the emotions I feel.
My skin crawls when it's time to repent, because while you already know my every thought, I am mortified to have you know.
Jesus, I am completely and utterly imperfect.
There is no good in me.
Why do you allow such a great life?
If it wasn't for me, your will would still be accomplished.
I don't know why you died for me, but never let me forget how much I am below you.
Praise be to you, Jesus of Nazareth!!
Who alone set me free from the chains of death!
While I get scared of what it may lead to, I submit my life as a sacrifice.
Jesus, please, just be gentle with it.
3. Actually, No, Matt, I Don't See Anything Wrong With Being A Twenty-Nine Year Old Man Who Still Goes Out And Buys Lunchables For Lunch. Their Name Has Freakin' Lunch In It! Stop Being Stupid. 0:55
Hey, you.
Yes, you.
Tired of feeling alone?
Tired of the empty feeling of meaningless in this temporary life?
Ever realize how many chicks you sleep with, you're still miserable in the morning?
Or no matter the high, the coming down is the reality you face?
It is not uncommon.
It is not a surprise to me.
You were created for so much more.
So much more than self pleasure.
And I'm not talking about finding happiness in another.
Or a job.
Or a hobby.
No.
The only true way to happiness is living with the God who created you so tender.
Who knows you better than you know yourself.
I'm sick and tired of seeing the scene the way it is.
Obsessed with sex.
Obsessed with drugs.
Obsessed with anything to numb their pain.
I am not discounting your pain, but I'm tired of your immature outlook.
Jesus died for you.
Jesus just wants to know you.
Don't let my 3rd grade vocabulary keep this message from you.
Any of you.
No matter what you've done.
No matter who you wronged.
You are forgiven
You are loved.
You are understood.
Do this for you, not for me.
Seek the God of the universe with all your heart, and he will not keep himself from you.
What would be the point of his death if he does?
Deep Porkow / Nucleus / To Hell With Religion / Meekness (split, August 8, 2023, Cultuscopy) (Digital)
To Hell With Religion also uploaded his tracks independently on Bandcamp.
8. To Hell With Religion - I Understand That You're My Dentist That My Health Is A Major Concern Of Yours, But That Does Not Give You The Reason To Call Me Overweight And Ugly 1:25
You think you're a good person because you helped a little old lady cross the street?
Or, how about that time you let the car pulling in cut ahead of you?
Remember that time you stole candy from your sister?
Or, how about the lie you told to escape wrath from your boss?
Sin is sin.
No excuses.
No way out.
At least, not on our own.
The fact is, we are all destined to Hell.
Every single one of us.
We are not good, no matter how often we try to convince ourselves otherwise.
We all fall short of the one who came to set us free.
He alone can save us from ourselves.
He will, literally, give you a new heart.
Wash you clean.
Make you right in God's sight, as we are unable to do so ourselves.
Don't kid yourself thinking you've earned salvation on your own.
The only way to the Father is through his son.
Christ Jesus.
Accept him into your life.
Please.
Pray the prayer of asking him into your heart.
And you'll see the transformation in his time.
9. To Hell With Religion - Currently, There Is A Middle Aged Man Named Tenny Staying In My House For A Week To Avoid His Family Throwing Him A Surprise Birthday Party 0:50
Jesus, Jesus, the King above every other.
The only king.
The only God.
Who can doubt or deny your goodness?
Protector of those who seek you.
Wiser than all of men put together.
As I look around and contemplate all the ways I've been blessed, in all the ways I've been gifted, what is more special, what is greater than being able to live in relationship with you?
How quick I am to forget your closeness.
Shame on me for thinking too much of this world and its temporary blessings.
As I sit here and wonder what will come next, what does it matter?
Why do I care so much?
I wish I knew.
And I wish I didn't care as much as I do, but, I do.
Does not God give man the desires of his own heart?
But, is not the heart deceptive and deceitful, as well?
I don't know what to pursue.
I don't know what to pray for.
God, all I know is I need you.
Badly.
More than anything else on this earth.
Forgive me for my uncontempment.
To Hell With Religion also uploaded his tracks independently on Bandcamp.
10. To Hell With Religion - I Would Actually Go To College If There Was A Course On How To Eat A Burrito From Moe's Southwest Grill Without Making A Complete Mess. Everytime I Eat One I Look Like A Toddler Eating His First Meal By Themselves. 0:50
World of sin.
There was no cure.
Death was certain.
Perversion the norm.
Man did what man thought was right in his own eyes.
The word of law needed to be upheld.
Animal after animal butchered to atone for human nature.
Worthless.
Hollow.
Empty.
The act of forgiveness.
There needed to be a better way.
There was a better way.
Son of Man, born from Heaven, cast down unto the earth.
Lived a humble, guiltless life.
He knew what his purpose was.
Knowing man could not save himself, he did the will of his Father.
Perfectly, without complaint.
Even as he sweat blood, the Spirit of the Almighty gave him the strength to resist temptation.
As him and the Spirit were one and the same.
Stabbed, speared, mocked, belittled, naked, crucified.
The last sacrifice the world will ever need.
The atone for its sin.
Its lust for evil.
Jesus Christ, Son of God set us free.
It's in your name I pray for everyone to hear this song and have their hearts melted for your glorification.
11. To Hell With Religion - Music That Doesn't Have An Angry Man Going "Roarroarroar" Throughout The Entire Song Doesn't Make Sense To Me 1:06
What if I told you salvation wasn't what you thought it was?
What if I told you it wasn't merit-based?
Or even performance based?
The way to Heaven isn't some cult.
It is not a religion.
And you certainly can't get there on your own.
Jesus Christ died in place of you.
He was the perfect sacrifice, so we don't have to be.
Now, that does not give credible notion for own sin, but we no longer are slaves to our sin.
Once you are saved, you can rely on Christ Jesus, who reigns now in Heaven, and the Spirit which he deploys to be there to help you overtime.
Sanctification.
He is always gentle.
He is always loving.
He is always there.
He is there to comfort.
There to help.
There to heal our wounds of sin and this world.
The workload is easy, as he is the oxen who steers the plow.
It know it seems silly at first, and I know Christians are self-righteous and downright unbearable at times.
But Christ is not them.
That's the whole point.
Humans suck.
Christ is perfect.
No matter what you think you've done to attain eternal life, you're wrong.
We all fall short.
We all need a savior.
Jesus Christ is that savior.
6 Ways Goregrind (split, November 17, 2023, Cultuscopy) (Digital)
To Hell With Religion also uploaded his tracks independently on Bandcamp.
22. To Hell With Religion - Kyle, You Overstayed Your Welcome. While I Appreciate You Making My House Smell Like Body Odor And Doing A Terrible Job At Raking My Lawn, It's Time To Go. 0:49
Dear God, only you know the appointed time.
Father in Heaven, the knowledge of the hour rests only in your mind.
As I look around and see what the news tells me, I can't help but think we are imminent.
Scoundrels never seem to not oppose your inheritance, the apple of your eye.
Jesus, awaken those who are ignorant to the magnitude of these wars.
Whether this is just another example of the world hating your children, or just another piece of sand falling through the hourglass, the world needs to wake up.
The time is now, people.
Stop focusing on the here and now, Jesus is on the way to take what is his.
You don't want to be left below when the world is burning.
Don't be lazy.
Call out to Jesus now, turn to him.
You need him.
No matter what you may believe, you do not want to be left below.
23. To Hell With Religion - Most Single People My Age Go To Bed Wondering When They Are Going To Meet Their Future Spouse. I Go To Bed Thinking Of Playing Madden When It Was Good As A Kid. 0:47
Pay attention to Israel.
See what is unfolding before our very eyes.
This is biblical in nature.
God will not allow those who mock and belittle his people go unpunished.
Time is running out for you to make a decision.
Build up your courage, and stand against the evil that is so acceptable now.
Those who scream "Death to Israel!" will surely face death.
Those who stand with Palestine will indeed make their own bed.
Do not let your Facebook timeline disway you from the truth.
The words of the God in heaven are not to be ignored.
Those who are against Israel cannot stand.
Those against Jacob will not prosper.
Please, for your own sake, hear these words.
And don't let them leave your mind.
Jesus is coming, and it's up to you if he brings you to his home.
24. To Hell With Religion - I Met The Real Life Version Of Comic Book Guy From The Simpsons At Guitar Center. When I Told Him How I Record My Vocals, He Had A Comic Book Guy Like Meltdown And Told Me I Suck At Music. 1:02
The time for action is now.
No more sitting down and hoping for change.
People of this generation, heed from your actions, put an end to your sins.
For it is almost time for your maker to reveal himself to us all.
On that day, he will not be giving any second chances.
No more "If only I knew" or "I thought I had more time" or "I was a good person",
All of this is crap.
Your mother's prayers cannot save you from yourself.
Yes, while God is love, he also demands you to know him.
Why would he accept me into his home, a man who can't do anything right.
A man who sins daily, willingly sometimes, and ignores instruction.
How much more would he accept someone who does not call him their God?
Not to say I am better than you, I'm just forgiven.
Oh, God, I wish I had better words.
Like it even freaking matters with the way I scream it, anyways.
You, who is taking the time to read these lyrics.
Do not wait.
Tomorrow is promised to no one.
Seek the Lord, your God.
Ruler of Heaven and Earth.
Pray for Jesus.
He is the only way to eternal life.
25. To Hell With Religion - I Ran Out Of Toilet Paper, So I Used My Neighbor's Kitchen Sink As A Beaudette 0:51
As I sit here on my couch, I can't help but think how many more days I have to do this.
Who knows how many more songs I can write.
Who knows if all this effort into making crappy music will be worthless.
Jesus, only you know my intentions behind this project.
Family and church friends mock what I do.
It saddens me when they see past the reason I am doing this.
And who I'm doing it for.
Lord, as things unfold in the Middle East, I truly don't know if I am making a difference doing these songs or not.
All I know how to do is make fast, stupid music.
But is this not what you designed me for?
Did you not die for the people in this scene as well?
Maybe I'm just telling myself this is to make myself feel better about not doing more.
But, Jesus, I pray, albeit selfish of me, for you to see my intentions.
And even if no one comes to you because of my efforts in this music scene, please see that I am trying my best where you put me.
Thank you for allowing me to do this.
Defend Israel (EP, November 20, 2023, Coleiosis Records) (Digital)
1. I Understand That You're My Dentist That My Health Is A Major Concern Of Yours, But That Does Not Give You The Reason To Call Me Overweight And Ugly 1:25
You think you're a good person because you helped a little old lady cross the street?
Or, how about that time you let the car pulling in cut ahead of you?
Remember that time you stole candy from your sister?
Or, how about the lie you told to escape wrath from your boss?
Sin is sin.
No excuses.
No way out.
At least, not on our own.
The fact is, we are all destined to Hell.
Every single one of us.
We are not good, no matter how often we try to convince ourselves otherwise.
We all fall short of the one who came to set us free.
He alone can save us from ourselves.
He will, literally, give you a new heart.
Wash you clean.
Make you right in God's sight, as we are unable to do so ourselves.
Don't kid yourself thinking you've earned salvation on your own.
The only way to the Father is through his son.
Christ Jesus.
Accept him into your life.
Please.
Pray the prayer of asking him into your heart.
And you'll see the transformation in his time.
2. Currently, There Is A Middle Aged Man Named Tenny Staying In My House For A Week To Avoid His Family Throwing Him A Surprise Birthday Party 0:50
Jesus, Jesus, the King above every other.
The only king.
The only God.
Who can doubt or deny your goodness?
Protector of those who seek you.
Wiser than all of men put together.
As I look around and contemplate all the ways I've been blessed, in all the ways I've been gifted, what is more special, what is greater than being able to live in relationship with you?
How quick I am to forget your closeness.
Shame on me for thinking too much of this world and its temporary blessings.
As I sit here and wonder what will come next, what does it matter?
Why do I care so much?
I wish I knew.
And I wish I didn't care as much as I do, but, I do.
Does not God give man the desires of his own heart?
But, is not the heart deceptive and deceitful, as well?
I don't know what to pursue.
I don't know what to pray for.
God, all I know is I need you.
Badly.
More than anything else on this earth.
Forgive me for my uncontempment.
3. I Would Actually Go To College If There Was A Course On How To Eat A Burrito From Moe's Southwest Grill Without Making A Complete Mess. Everytime I Eat One I Look Like A Toddler Eating His First Meal By Themselves. 0:50
World of sin.
There was no cure.
Death was certain.
Perversion the norm.
Man did what man thought was right in his own eyes.
The word of law needed to be upheld.
Animal after animal butchered to atone for human nature.
Worthless.
Hollow.
Empty.
The act of forgiveness.
There needed to be a better way.
There was a better way.
Son of Man, born from Heaven, cast down unto the earth.
Lived a humble, guiltless life.
He knew what his purpose was.
Knowing man could not save himself, he did the will of his Father.
Perfectly, without complaint.
Even as he sweat blood, the Spirit of the Almighty gave him the strength to resist temptation.
As him and the Spirit were one and the same.
Stabbed, speared, mocked, belittled, naked, crucified.
The last sacrifice the world will ever need.
The atone for its sin.
Its lust for evil.
Jesus Christ, Son of God set us free.
It's in your name I pray for everyone to hear this song and have their hearts melted for your glorification.
4. Music That Doesn't Have An Angry Man Going "Roarroarroar" Throughout The Entire Song Doesn't Make Sense To Me 1:06
What if I told you salvation wasn't what you thought it was?
What if I told you it wasn't merit-based?
Or even performance based?
The way to Heaven isn't some cult.
It is not a religion.
And you certainly can't get there on your own.
Jesus Christ died in place of you.
He was the perfect sacrifice, so we don't have to be.
Now, that does not give credible notion for own sin, but we no longer are slaves to our sin.
Once you are saved, you can rely on Christ Jesus, who reigns now in Heaven, and the Spirit which he deploys to be there to help you overtime.
Sanctification.
He is always gentle.
He is always loving.
He is always there.
He is there to comfort.
There to help.
There to heal our wounds of sin and this world.
The workload is easy, as he is the oxen who steers the plow.
It know it seems silly at first, and I know Christians are self-righteous and downright unbearable at times.
But Christ is not them.
That's the whole point.
Humans suck.
Christ is perfect.
No matter what you think you've done to attain eternal life, you're wrong.
We all fall short.
We all need a savior.
Jesus Christ is that savior.
5. Kyle, You Overstayed Your Welcome. While I Appreciate You Making My House Smell Like Body Odor And Doing A Terrible Job At Raking My Lawn, It's Time To Go. 0:49
Dear God, only you know the appointed time.
Father in Heaven, the knowledge of the hour rests only in your mind.
As I look around and see what the news tells me, I can't help but think we are imminent.
Scoundrels never seem to not oppose your inheritance, the apple of your eye.
Jesus, awaken those who are ignorant to the magnitude of these wars.
Whether this is just another example of the world hating your children, or just another piece of sand falling through the hourglass, the world needs to wake up.
The time is now, people.
Stop focusing on the here and now, Jesus is on the way to take what is his.
You don't want to be left below when the world is burning.
Don't be lazy.
Call out to Jesus now, turn to him.
You need him.
No matter what you may believe, you do not want to be left below.
6. Most Single People My Age Go To Bed Wondering When They Are Going To Meet Their Future Spouse. I Go To Bed Thinking Of Playing Madden When It Was Good As A Kid. 0:47
Pay attention to Israel.
See what is unfolding before our very eyes.
This is biblical in nature.
God will not allow those who mock and belittle his people go unpunished.
Time is running out for you to make a decision.
Build up your courage, and stand against the evil that is so acceptable now.
Those who scream "Death to Israel!" will surely face death.
Those who stand with Palestine will indeed make their own bed.
Do not let your Facebook timeline disway you from the truth.
The words of the God in heaven are not to be ignored.
Those who are against Israel cannot stand.
Those against Jacob will not prosper.
Please, for your own sake, hear these words.
And don't let them leave your mind.
Jesus is coming, and it's up to you if he brings you to his home.
7. I Met The Real Life Version Of Comic Book Guy From The Simpsons At Guitar Center. When I Told Him How I Record My Vocals, He Had A Comic Book Guy Like Meltdown And Told Me I Suck At Music. 1:02
The time for action is now.
No more sitting down and hoping for change.
People of this generation, heed from your actions, put an end to your sins.
For it is almost time for your maker to reveal himself to us all.
On that day, he will not be giving any second chances.
No more "If only I knew" or "I thought I had more time" or "I was a good person",
All of this is crap.
Your mother's prayers cannot save you from yourself.
Yes, while God is love, he also demands you to know him.
Why would he accept me into his home, a man who can't do anything right.
A man who sins daily, willingly sometimes, and ignores instruction.
How much more would he accept someone who does not call him their God?
Not to say I am better than you, I'm just forgiven.
Oh, God, I wish I had better words.
Like it even freaking matters with the way I scream it, anyways.
You, who is taking the time to read these lyrics.
Do not wait.
Tomorrow is promised to no one.
Seek the Lord, your God.
Ruler of Heaven and Earth.
Pray for Jesus.
He is the only way to eternal life.
8. I Ran Out Of Toilet Paper, So I Used My Neighbor's Kitchen Sink As A Beaudette 0:51
As I sit here on my couch, I can't help but think how many more days I have to do this.
Who knows how many more songs I can write.
Who knows if all this effort into making crappy music will be worthless.
Jesus, only you know my intentions behind this project.
Family and church friends mock what I do.
It saddens me when they see past the reason I am doing this.
And who I'm doing it for.
Lord, as things unfold in the Middle East, I truly don't know if I am making a difference doing these songs or not.
All I know how to do is make fast, stupid music.
But is this not what you designed me for?
Did you not die for the people in this scene as well?
Maybe I'm just telling myself this is to make myself feel better about not doing more.
But, Jesus, I pray, albeit selfish of me, for you to see my intentions.
And even if no one comes to you because of my efforts in this music scene, please see that I am trying my best where you put me.
Thank you for allowing me to do this.
4 Way Grindheads (split, December 10, 2023, Cultuscopy) (Digital)
To Hell With Religion also uploaded his tracks independently on Bandcamp.
1. To Hell With Religion - Recent Google Searches Include, But Not Limited To: "Why Did That Pretty Girl Throw Up When I Asked Her Out?" "How To Clean Up Vomit Off Of Shirt" "What Does Vomit Taste Like?" "Is It Weird I Like The Taste Of Vomit?" 0:51
Grief has demobilized me, and you're not even dead yet.
Hearing the words of a broken man break my heart.
But this is what happens when you love the world and ignore Christ.
Helpless is the man who ignores the savior of the world.
When the waves start to spiral, you drown all the faster.
I wish there was something more I could do for you, but you already made up your mind.
Jesus, I can't help but think what else I can do or could've done differently at this point to help this man out.
But, at some point, we all make our own beds.
And at some point, your gift of mercy runs out.
Jesus, I can't make him believe, and you know everything I've done at this point for him, I release him onto you.
Because you know how tired I am.
But yet I still can't help but think of what I plan to say at his funeral.
2. To Hell With Religion - Not Sure Why My Pediatric Doctor Just Gave Me A Prostate Exam. But, Who Am I To Complain? 1:12
Boy meets girl.
Boy falls in love with girl.
Girl has troubled past.
Boy already has mental issues and self-confidence struggles.
Girl breaks boy's heart.
And now boy is killing himself with drugs, alcohol, and self-pity.
More than three years have passed and he still looks for the coward's way out.
Already tried multiple times, he ramps up for his last hoorah.
Claiming he knows what to do this time to end it all.
Little does he know the only reason he is still breathing in the first place is God has saved him from himself.
To keep him around for his friends and family to still enjoy.
That does nothing for him now.
He is sick of being a burden to those around him.
His life choices make him unable to support himself anymore.
Nearly thirty, and living in his friend's house with no job to even pay for his own food.
He doesn't see the love people have for him.
He doesn't see the love God has for him.
Not only that, he doubts his existence.
Or that his son already paid his price for him in total.
As he approaches the end of his life, he goes to put an end to his misery, claiming he will never be happy again.
Little does he know how fulfilling a life with Christ will be.
This is what happens when you trust in anything on this Earth.
This is what happens when you trust in anyone or anything over Christ.
3. To Hell With Religion - Josh Scogin, If You Ever Hear This Song, Message Me About Doing A Song Together. I Wanna See If You Can Still Scream From Your Norma Jean Days. 1:16
As I sit here wondering in my head what the next few days hold, I am stricken with sadness and relief.
Jesus, I know it is not Christ-like of me to admit this, but I will know in the next few days what my future holds.
You have blessed me with the resources to help out a friend in dire need, but the well has run dry.
When he no longer sees a point to try, things get taxing real fast.
Committed to ending his life, but yet the mental institutions release him every time claiming he is no real threat to killing himself.
The struggles he has faced the last six months trying to get his life back together have been monumental.
It's almost like someone is against him.
I can't help but wonder if you are at work in heaven, going out of your way to make him fail.
That's just not the God I Know.
But I'd be lying if I said I don't question what is going on here.
God, you owe me no explanation for what is going on, but Lord in Heaven, though he refutes your deity, see what your son is going through.
And while I know he is not calling on your name for deliverance, sees his efforts.
And see how many things oppose him.
You died for him, did you not?
Why are you making things so impossible for him to fix?
Mincing Shit Noise (split, February 3, 2024, Cultuscopy) (Digital)
To Hell With Religion also uploaded his tracks independently on Bandcamp.
7. To Hell With Religion - *Clears Throat* "Man, Swallowing That Gallon Of Mayonnaise Sure Made My Throat Dry. Guess I Better Wash It Down With Some Root Beer. 0:50
Don't keep anything from me.
Your love, your grace, your compassion, your mercy.
I crave it all.
Jesus, without you, there is nothing.
My life is nothing.
This project is nothing.
My pursuit of happiness on this Earth will never fully come to bloom.
How can it?
Pain and suffering, grief and sadness, the bitterness of unfulfilled dreams.
I wish to know you more.
I long to long you.
Through any human error, I need you to shine bright.
Brighter than any sunrise.
I've experienced the world, and I've had enough.
Nothing compares to you.
No treasure, no special gift, no earthly treasure or bounty ever can compare to spending time with you.
On this Earth, or for eternity.
8. To Hell With Religion - Speaking Of Mayonnaise, The Best Part Of Eating A Whopper Is The Last Three Bites When It's Just Dripping With Mayo 0:42
Quiet mornings with the creator lend a new light.
Not yet plagued by the world and its emptiness.
Not a chance to be brought down by the unseen horrors.
Jesus, I still can't fathom how I ever lived without you in my life.
I no longer wish to live for myself.
I no longer wish to have the things of this world.
All I want is you.
All I want is to know you.
All I want is to live for you.
While it's great and dandy I live in such luxury, what purpose does it serve?
How does my life being others to you?
I'm not sure.
Jesus, I don't live this season of rest, even though I desperately needed it.
I cried out for so long to have rest, and now that I have it, I don't know what to do with it.
Refresh me in this time, and please do not let this season become a lifestyle.
9. To Hell With Religion - Eating A Barrel Full Of Toxic Waste In Front Of School Children To Show Them It Won't Give Me Superpowers. Man, Kids Are So Stupid Nowadays. 0:47
I could be given a brand new home, and what would it bring?
Nothing.
I could be given a brand new car, and what would it bring?
Nothing.
I could be given enough money to never have to work again, and what would it bring?
Nothing.
Temporary elation of useless treasures hold no real value.
Man could have anything he wanted.
Man did have everything, and it still wasn't enough.
Cast out of the Garden of Eden due to his lust for power and knowledge.
And, frankly, how am I any different?
Bogged down by uncertainty of my use for Christ.
I feel like my life is meaningless, just because I'm not some worldwide famous martyr.
Is my mind really this broken. or is there just a seed that is planted that has yet to bare fruit?
Jesus, I don't know the answer.
Not sure if I ever will.
Please give my heart peace and rest while I wait.
Don't let my life be a waste.
10. To Hell With Religion - Buying A House Ain't Too Hard. Just Get A Full Time Job And Stop Wasting Your Money On Pot And The Newest iPhone Every Year. 0:49
Today is a day the Lord has made.
I will rejoice and be glad in it.
My situation, while not bleak, is not great.
Jesus, I don't know what fully is happening in my life, but I have the trust in you and you alone that you know what you are doing.
Son of God, I invite you into my soul this day.
I ask you not only to show me your great love and power, but Jesus, I so desire to be a beacon of light to anyone who knows me.
Jesus, be so radiant in my life that no one can deny your presence in my life and heart.
I may be plagued by sin.
Evil thoughts run through my mind day and night.
Not a day goes by without evil in my veins.
Even my good days bring you shame.
Jesus, not because of me, but because of you, I am saved.
Make this song be heard by anyone who needs to know you.
Jesus, I scream for joy that you let me have this outlet to scream your name.
People who hear this song, know that Jesus Christ is my king, my Lord, and my Savior.
Holy Spirit, fill their hearts with your loving conviction, and reveal yourself to all who hear and read these lyrics.
Last On The Totem Pole (EP, February 15, 2024, Coleiosis Records) (Digital)
Tracks 1-3 taken from "4-Way Grindheads".
Tracks 4-7 taken from "Mincing Shit Noise".
1. Recent Google Searches Include, But Not Limited To: "Why Did That Pretty Girl Throw Up When I Asked Her Out?" "How To Clean Up Vomit Off Of Shirt" "What Does Vomit Taste Like?" "Is It Weird I Like The Taste Of Vomit?" 0:51
2. Not Sure Why My Pediatric Doctor Just Gave Me A Prostate Exam. But, Who Am I To Complain? 1:12
3. Josh Scogin, If You Ever Hear This Song, Message Me About Doing A Song Together. I Wanna See If You Can Still Scream From Your Norma Jean Days. 1:16
4. *Clears Throat* "Man, Swallowing That Gallon Of Mayonnaise Sure Made My Throat Dry. Guess I Better Wash It Down With Some Root Beer. 0:50
5. Speaking Of Mayonnaise, The Best Part Of Eating A Whopper Is The Last Three Bites When It's Just Dripping With Mayo 0:42
6. Eating A Barrel Full Of Toxic Waste In Front Of School Children To Show Them It Won't Give Me Superpowers. Man, Kids Are So Stupid Nowadays. 0:47
7. Buying A House Ain't Too Hard. Just Get A Full Time Job And Stop Wasting Your Money On Pot And The Newest iPhone Every Year. 0:49
Anger. Hatred. Pride. (EP)
February 18, 2024, Independent (Digital)
February 18, 2024, Imploding Sounds, Limited Edition (Lathe Cut "7 Vinyl, Digital)
1. Leave It To Someone From Minnesota To Make Cheese Sound Boring 0:49
I'm getting sick of writing vile songs.
How can such music honor my Lord?
My life is an expanding blessing.
Day after day, I have new reasons to praise of your love.
Already countless to me, my blessings grow constantly.
You are my King.
You are my Lord.
You are my best friend.
Jesus Christ, I thank you for choosing me.
Not because I deserve it, but because your grace and mercy is more than I can ever comprehend.
In all this, I am failing.
Everyday I get angry at trivial things.
Everyday your father seep into my bed of nerves.
They are different than I, as I them.
And that's how you made us.
And that's how we work together as the hands and feet of Jesus.
2. If You're Going To Name Your Dog Truffle, You Really Can't Be Too Shocked When The Authorities Take It Away From You. Can You? 0:51
Gracious King, I thank you for my role in life.
I thank you for the times of extreme busyness, and the rest that follows.
I would be lying if my heart was in a perfect posture while writing this, but I can take solace in the fact my salvation is not performance based.
And thank God for that!
I am a dirty, rotten, degenerate sinner.
Selfishness and hatred corrupt my heart.
It doesn't take much for me to hate.
Yes, I am called to hate the sin, but, Lord, you see how quick I am to hate the soul within.
This feeling of hate is not Christ-like, and for that I apologize.
Only your awesome Spirit can cleanse me, and make me anew.
And I pray for that today, Jesus.
Make me new.
3. Saying You Work In A High Class Supermarket Is The Same Thing As The 30 Year Old With A Part Time Job At Dunkin' Donuts Saying They're A Barista 0:55
Avoiding people like the plague is starting to become the norm for me.
Not so much everyone, just ones who call Jesus Christ their Lord.
Why can I not get out of my own way in this?
Whenever I am in your house, oh Lord, I feel most out of place.
I'm sure my mind exaggerates these feelings, and that is the work of the most heinous one of them all.
While I do take my share of the blame for allowing me to wallow in these feelings, I come to you, Lord, and ask for help to love my brother.
I cannot do this on my own.
I am weak, but you are strong.
In my weakness, I cry out.
I cry out to the only one who can cleanse me from myself.
Jesus Christ, king of all, whether they know it or not.
Yet.
4. You Think You're Better Than Me Because You Have An American Express Travel Card With Unlimited Miles?! Well, Guess What?! You're Right. 1:04
Every season brings reasons to praise the one who created the Heavens and the Earth.
As day after day of restlessness are the norm, I find solace in the one who gave it all.
All being his time, energy, love, and, most importantly, his life, to not only give me a second chance, but everyone who calls onto his name.
Jesus, forgive me for the anger I feel.
Forgive me for mocking my fellow believers because they see things differently than I.
Forgive me for my feelings of resentment for how they praise and honor you the way you desire it so.
It may not be my way, but how hypocritical of me to bash them for praising the way King David did.
It may not be natural to me, but I know how I feel when they scorn me for praising you the best way I know how.
In this noisy mess a half percent of the population would consider music.
We are all different.
But none is better than the other.
Thank you for making us all unique to serve you in our own ways.
5. Cuddling With Some Homeless Dude Underneath A Shady Tree On A Warm Sunday Afternoon In May Watching The Clouds Go By In The Park 1:02
I freakin' hate happy music.
What do you want me to write about?
Look at this world.
Do any of you people even pay attention to what is happening?
Do any of you even care?
Nevermind Putin.
We have fascism forming like it was brewed in Nazi, Germany.
And I'm not talking about Trumpism.
Pay attention to the evil in the white house today.
Pay attention to the corrupt Prime Minister in sweet ol' Canada.
Wanna loot the streets to honor some criminal who died because of a drug overdose induced heart attack?
God forbid you stand up for your right to not be injected with an experimental vaccine.
The worst part is, we're letting the western frontier crumble in front of us.
Why?
We need to perfect a dance routine on Tik Tok.
I hate this world.
I hate how stupid we are.
I hate everything I see.
But, is this not biblical?
Jesus, you'll be here soon.
Let these ignorant fools wee the evil.
And please forgive me for the anger I have inside me as I write this.
And let me tell you, if you're fine with how this world is.
If you're living in this world, then you're part of the freakin' problem.
6. I Can't Help But Wonder When I Look At Myself In The Mirror At Night If I Truly Do Have The Most Amount Of Nose Hair For Someone In Their 20s In The Entire World 0:48
These thoughts are starting to become more and more frequent.
No matter how much I pay for them to go away, they get worse and worse.
I'm becoming angrier at the one who gave me life.
I cry out to you for help, I cry out to you for rest, and it almost seems like you don't care.
I'm so freakin' sick and tired of hearing how Jesus wants me to be free and happy.
So why do you keep giving me so much freakin' work?
Am I missing something here?
Am I really this dull?
What am I missing?
What am I thinking?
Why is this still happening every freakin' day?
I don't want to do this anymore.
I can't do this anymore.
I am not the servant I thought I was.
7. My Boss Told Me If I Ever Farted On Him Again He Was Going To Come To My House And Take A Crap On My Lawn 1:15
I'm really starting to question what is happening in my life, Lord.
It almost seems to me you're mocking me.
It almost seems like you enjoy seeing me miserable.
I know none of that is true, but why don't you let me ever have rest?
Ever?
Or maybe, I should just stop being a selfish, secular jerk.
You do give me rest.
Plenty of it.
I have time to write this song, don't I?
I'm relaxing on my couch at 10 A.M. on my day off writing a song.
What do you mean I don't have time to rest?
Just because I'm not home everyday, playing video games at 5 doesn't mean I don't have time to relax.
How many people were saved by me sitting down, alone, playing video games for 5 hours a day?
I'll answer that.
Zero.
Jesus, I am not like you.
I can never be like you.
The work you've done.
The work you do.
I pretend the weight of the world is on my shoulders, when it was, literally, on yours.
You're not asking me to be a savior.
You're just asking me to be a servant.
Remind me, and empower me on this quest.
Because I sure as heck can't do this on my own.
8. Spending 90 Dollars At The Stupid Woodstock Fair On Carnival Games For Some Ugly Fish Doll I Could've Bought At Wal-Mart For $6.99 1:24
It's absolutely incredible to me how gentle you are.
I deserve to be in Hell as I write this.
After just crying out to you in selfish despair, you comforted me when I was just longing to hear your voice.
I don't deserve to ever hear "I love you".
Let alone from the one who I openly sin against daily.
Lord, my God, why do you put up with me?
When will I learn of your ways?
Everyday, for what feels like 6 months, I've been angry with you.
Angry for not getting my ways.
Angry for what it seems to me is not best for me.
My mind cannot fathom what tomorrow brings.
But, if I'm being honest, I'm scared it entails more work I am too tired to complete.
That's my problem, I keep thinking I'm going at this alone.
Lord, as you say, you promise to be the oxen carrying the load.
Why do I keep envisioning myself as being alone in this?
Would you give me this work for nothing?
Would you give me this work to draw me to be angry with you?
Or, would you give me this work to show me more of what you can do?
To glorify your name through me?
I know the answer to this already.
Jesus, please, through all of this, let me be more like you through this process.
Your gentleness.
Your patience.
Your love.
I want it all.
I want to give it to the world around me.
I am not close to where I need to be.
But, Jesus, by your spirit, let me grow.
9. If I Have The Choice Of Either Expanding My Knowledge By Reading A Book Or Eating Expired Devil Dogs Without Pants On I'm Eating Expired Devil Dogs Without Pants On Every Time 0:57
How great is your faithfulness?
Even when I fail, even when I fall.
You're always there to point back on track.
You keep my ways straight.
You keep my path narrow.
Even when I feel like I am running in circles or even backwards, you're always in control.
Jesus Christ.
King of the universe, give me the guidance I seek.
Grant me wisdom in this season, as I am searching for what I believe to be mine.
Many errors and much folly have stunted me in this department.
I led myself into what I knew was wrong, I ignored your stop signs, because of my thick-headed ways.
I do not want this sin anymore.
Even if I again am wrong about what I believe to be, Jesus, in your ways, in your timing, reveal to me the plan of which I desire so.
If I am wrong, please, tell me before it is too late and I, again, make another horrible decision.
My God.
Oh, my God.
There is none like you.
Even if this fails, you'll be there.
What more could I ever need?
10. Yes. Okay. Yup. Uh-huh. Gotcha. Okay. Okay. DUDE! STOP! Okay, Tom, Or Whatever Your Stupid Name Is, Thanks For Waving Me Down To Tell Me My Truck Has A Massive Gas Leak, But Did You Even Stop To Think I'm Trying To Destroy The Environment And Give Myself Brain Cancer From Fumes At The Same Time? Talk About Selfish! 1:13
As I sit home in my house, away from the world in solitude, I again am plagued with thoughts of guilt.
Jesus, does the scriptures not say without reason man is to enjoy all things?
Why do I feel guilty when you finally brought me out of the season I despised?
I cried out to you, night and day, thought out loud, and in my head.
I begged for rest.
I begged for a break.
Jesus, three days of ease, and I'm back to feeling guilty.
Am I a workaholic?
Or, am I designed different?
Jesus, we are all uniquely created to serve your kingdom in our ways.
And I cannot thank you enough for that!
The mind and energy of a child.
Please, keep me child-like, forever, Abba God.
Those with a heart of a child will live forever.
Thank you for this season of rest.
For ever how long it will last.
But, you know me better than I know myself.
You know what I can and cannot handle.
Jesus, when the time is right, please, send me back out into the world, like a sheep among wolves, knowing my father, the Good Shepherd, Jesus Christ himself, will protect me.
Do not let my life be a waste.
Don't let me waste my life!
I am ready to do your work, Lord.
I am your servant.
Forever and always.
I love You.
Where The Maggot Never Dies And The Fire Never Goes Out (split)
June 25, 2024, Coleiosis Records (Digital)
June 25, 2024, Independent (Digital)
5. To Hell With Religion - Washing My Hair With Mayonnaise To Try To Get Some Hair Gray To Show People I Am, Indeed, A Wise Man 0:52
I will rejoice in the Lord, always.
Even when I feel like I'm drowning, he keeps me afloat.
Even when I'm exhausted, he carries me through.
Oh, how I wish I was more worthy of your presence.
How I wish I could always have a bigger outlook on things.
Truth is, I'm exhausted.
I have rest today, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?
Constantly being tugged in every possible direction.
Why is rest so elusive?
God, I am not you.
I can't continue this workload forever.
While you give me rest when I need it most, I always feel a little guilty for not doing when I'm not.
This can't be a healthy mindset.
Jesus, I admit, I don't know where to go or what to do.
Please, guide me in your direction best suited for my life.
6. To Hell With Religion - If I Only Rob, Like $40 From The Bank, Do You Still Think My Parents Will Ground Me? 0:46
Glory be to the one before all men, forever and ever!
God, even when I am at my lowest, you remind me of your glory.
Even when I am fed up, you remain.
As I continue to walk by faith and not by sight, I admit, my heart grows weary.
I'm scared to think of what I thought was just a season is, in fact, a lifetime.
All these thoughts and all these desires continue to meet no satisfaction.
The things of my adolescence no longer being the joy they once did.
This is good, because it means you're shaping my heart to be a man's, as I am no longer a child.
But what is the purpose of giving man desires you don't plan to fulfill?
I'm not saying this is the case, Lord.
But, as I stated before, it's getting so hard to keep believing when I have no proof of these blessings coming forth.
Give me discernment of what to do.
7. To Hell With Religion - You're Telling Me People Actually Live In New York City Or Boston On Purpose? And I'm The Idiot... 0:49
God is good, God is great.
I lack nothing from his hand.
My provisions are more than I could ever imagine.
My life is proof of how nothing but trust in the Lord is good for a man's heart.
With that being said, I am still faltering.
How quickly I am to forget your blessings.
How fast I am to ignore the ways you have already provided for your son.
While I deserve nothing, only death, you still have given me purpose, fulfillment, placement, and a plan.
Oh, Father! Thank you for these provisions!
Forgive me for my uncontentment.
I truly am not trying to be bitter.
But my heart grows impatient and the enemy knows how to infiltrate my thoughts.
Jesus, as you have before, meet me here and provide the way only you can.
Please, don't leave me here with open hands.
8. To Hell With Religion - It's No Coincidence I'm Wearing The Same Pair Of Underwear From Last Wednesday. I Only Change Underwear When I Show. 1:02
My God is an awesome God.
Nay, the only God!
One day this world will see the errors of their ways, and beg for mercy.
Hopefully, the great masses will recognize these sins before the second coming.
One can hope.
One can only pray.
Jesus, I am no better than these people who live without you.
I only know how dirty and screwed up I am.
I am worthless.
I am nothing.
That is, without you.
Jesus, in you, I am complete and whole.
And I pray for more opportunities to show your glory to the masses.
I don't know when.
I don't know how.
But I pray, in your great and powerful name, Jesus, use me as you see fit.
I admit, I hope it's in great ways that bring me happiness, but, did you have happiness when you were nailed to a cross?
No.
Why, then, should I expect any better, when I am much worse?
Lord, I am nothing before you.
I give myself to you.
I pray you're gentle, but who am I to ask for such things?
To Hell With Descab (split, July 17, 2024, Cultuscopy) (Digital)
To Hell With Religion also uploaded his tracks independently on Bandcamp.
1. To Hell With Religion - Humid Weather = Ingrown Toenails 1:05
What a difference two years make.
I used to cry out to you because of how thin I was stretched.
Now it seems you have me under house arrest.
Time moves on, and I'm only getting older.
I feel like everyday is a day wasted.
But, this is what I asked for.
This is what I pleaded to you for.
All I wanted was rest.
All I wanted was time to myself.
Now that's all I have.
Jesus, I'm not gonna lie and say I want my old life back.
This way is better for me.
I still don't see your plan here.
Approaching thirty, and still no inclination of change.
Friends become less frequent as they tend to their own wives and children.
I was expecting this change at some point.
I was just hoping it would come with my own family, as well.
Like usual, I was wrong.
2. To Hell With Religion - Throwing A Nine Year Old Girl In The Dumpster At Church Because She Farted On Me 0:49
I have no one to vent to.
My life is still good.
I'm just so freaking alone.
Day by day it seems less is on my plate.
The life I dreamed about is my reality.
Stress-free and worry-free.
The only problem is, I have zero purpose now.
My biggest joy is forcing me to take a step back.
Those kids on Sunday morning make my entire week.
And now I can't even see them every Sunday anymore.
God, I don't doubt your plan and your timing, but why take anyway my biggest fulfillment I could ever think of?
I begged and pleaded with you to show me my gift and calling.
And now I received it, and now I'm losing it.
And, surprise, surprise, I have no one I can talk to about it.
3. To Hell With Religion - Suing Pepsi For Taking Flat Coke And Reselling It As, Well, Pepsi 0:48
I reach out to people I avoided to try to get a sense of community.
Either they gave up on me, or you're letting me get what I asked for.
You knew I was exhausted.
You knew I begged for peace and solitude.
I knew this day would come when I finally received it.
And I also knew I would regret every time I prayed that prayer.
I know how I'm wired.
Why would I think an extreme extrovert would be fine living a life away from people?
Well, now I freaking have it.
Looking back, I think all I wanted was less people bugging me.
Too many people clamoring for my attention and friendship, and now they all left.
Too busy with their own lives, while I sit in my house alone again to end the week.
I finally got what I prayed for.
Nothing to do but pretend to be a musician and play retarded, sucky music to vent my frustration like an emo teenager.
4. To Hell With Religion - Building A Ten Foot High Wall Between Canada And America To Keep Gordie From Descab And Zee From Regurgitasi Away From My Homeland 0:54
This room is my escape.
Full of instruments I barely know how to play, but it's all I feel I have at the moment.
All my friends are married or close to it.
Some with kids.
Kids I mentored close to college and are too cool for me now.
Kids I teach on Sundays don't need me during the week.
I am alone.
All I got is a loud voice and a pissed-off attitude.
Always an outcast, I feel it now as I age.
Nearly 30, and still hates the world.
I don't fit in anywhere.
I hate everything the world loves.
I hate everything the world does.
Jesus, everything I do is failing.
Why is this season so long?
I have you, and I don't need anything else, but why does it feel like I'm under house arrest?
Where do you want me to go?
What can I possibly do?
I never grew up.
The only things I desire right now are relationships.
My close friends back.
Me teaching those kids on Sunday mornings.
My future wife and kids.
I have none of it.
I want to go back in time to before I cared about being close to anyone.
5. To Hell With Religion - Days Off Are For Crying In The Shower 0:49
What is the purpose of this season?
No commitments, less work, less ministry, what am I missing here?
The worst part is, whenever I pray to you to ask for direction, all I hear is "stay still".
While that is a beautiful wish, I feel like I've been still for far too long.
Far be it for me to question your timing, but I just have such a hard time deciphering the plan here.
I'm not doing anything for you it seems.
I pray for work, and it doesn't come.
I pray for opportunities for me to be your light at work and at church, and they don't come.
I pray for someone to come into my life to not be so alone in all this, it never comes.
Nothing ever changes.
Or so it seems.
God, I don't know your plan, but I believe you are working mighty things behind closed doors right now.
Forgive me for my impatience and rudeness.
I know it's only a matter of time before your beautiful plan is in full force in front of me.
6. To Hell With Religion - Long Weekends Are For Driving Down To Tallahassee And Beating Up The Elderly. A.K.A The Inferior. Because They're Old And Can't Fight Back. 0:52
Question after question after question.
I admit, God, this season has really tested my faith.
The last six plus months have been a steep valley.
And even when I thought I was done, you gave me the strength to keep fighting.
Even when I wanted nothing to do with you, your spirit gave me the fear and remembrance of not only your righteousness, and also what I truly deserve.
I can't ever remember a trial as severe as the one I am still at war with.
"Is this God testing me?"
"Is this God refining me?"
"Is this God punishing me?"
"Is this God punishing me?"
"Does God love me?"
"Does Satan have his hand in this more than I see?"
I don't know if I will ever get the answers to these questions.
But God, who am I to demand anything from you?
I'm already saved from my own sins, and yet I add another sin to the ledger for my outward defiance and questioning of your timing and will and lack of action.
Jesus, I hate this season.
I can't deny that.
But I thank you that even at the lowest parts, and even when I failed to feel your comforting presence, I know you have been by my side this entire time.
If this is my life, so be it.
I submit to you, for I deserve nothing from you in the first place.
Barren (EP, August 8, 2024, Coleiosis Records) (Digital)
Tracks taken from the split "To Hell With Descab".
1. Humid Weather = Ingrown Toenails 1:05
What a difference two years make.
I used to cry out to you because of how thin I was stretched.
Now it seems you have me under house arrest.
Time moves on, and I'm only getting older.
I feel like everyday is a day wasted.
But, this is what I asked for.
This is what I pleaded to you for.
All I wanted was rest.
All I wanted was time to myself.
Now that's all I have.
Jesus, I'm not gonna lie and say I want my old life back.
This way is better for me.
I still don't see your plan here.
Approaching thirty, and still no inclination of change.
Friends become less frequent as they tend to their own wives and children.
I was expecting this change at some point.
I was just hoping it would come with my own family, as well.
Like usual, I was wrong.
2. Throwing A Nine Year Old Girl In The Dumpster At Church Because She Farted On Me 0:49
I have no one to vent to.
My life is still good.
I'm just so freaking alone.
Day by day it seems less is on my plate.
The life I dreamed about is my reality.
Stress-free and worry-free.
The only problem is, I have zero purpose now.
My biggest joy is forcing me to take a step back.
Those kids on Sunday morning make my entire week.
And now I can't even see them every Sunday anymore.
God, I don't doubt your plan and your timing, but why take anyway my biggest fulfillment I could ever think of?
I begged and pleaded with you to show me my gift and calling.
And now I received it, and now I'm losing it.
And, surprise, surprise, I have no one I can talk to about it.
3. Suing Pepsi For Taking Flat Coke And Reselling It As, Well, Pepsi 0:48
I reach out to people I avoided to try to get a sense of community.
Either they gave up on me, or you're letting me get what I asked for.
You knew I was exhausted.
You knew I begged for peace and solitude.
I knew this day would come when I finally received it.
And I also knew I would regret every time I prayed that prayer.
I know how I'm wired.
Why would I think an extreme extrovert would be fine living a life away from people?
Well, now I freaking have it.
Looking back, I think all I wanted was less people bugging me.
Too many people clamoring for my attention and friendship, and now they all left.
Too busy with their own lives, while I sit in my house alone again to end the week.
I finally got what I prayed for.
Nothing to do but pretend to be a musician and play retarded, sucky music to vent my frustration like an emo teenager.
4. Building A Ten Foot High Wall Between Canada And America To Keep Gordie From Descab And Zee From Regurgitasi Away From My Homeland 0:54
This room is my escape.
Full of instruments I barely know how to play, but it's all I feel I have at the moment.
All my friends are married or close to it.
Some with kids.
Kids I mentored close to college and are too cool for me now.
Kids I teach on Sundays don't need me during the week.
I am alone.
All I got is a loud voice and a pissed-off attitude.
Always an outcast, I feel it now as I age.
Nearly 30, and still hates the world.
I don't fit in anywhere.
I hate everything the world loves.
I hate everything the world does.
Jesus, everything I do is failing.
Why is this season so long?
I have you, and I don't need anything else, but why does it feel like I'm under house arrest?
Where do you want me to go?
What can I possibly do?
I never grew up.
The only things I desire right now are relationships.
My close friends back.
Me teaching those kids on Sunday mornings.
My future wife and kids.
I have none of it.
I want to go back in time to before I cared about being close to anyone.
5. Days Off Are For Crying In The Shower 0:49
What is the purpose of this season?
No commitments, less work, less ministry, what am I missing here?
The worst part is, whenever I pray to you to ask for direction, all I hear is "stay still".
While that is a beautiful wish, I feel like I've been still for far too long.
Far be it for me to question your timing, but I just have such a hard time deciphering the plan here.
I'm not doing anything for you it seems.
I pray for work, and it doesn't come.
I pray for opportunities for me to be your light at work and at church, and they don't come.
I pray for someone to come into my life to not be so alone in all this, it never comes.
Nothing ever changes.
Or so it seems.
God, I don't know your plan, but I believe you are working mighty things behind closed doors right now.
Forgive me for my impatience and rudeness.
I know it's only a matter of time before your beautiful plan is in full force in front of me.
6. Long Weekends Are For Driving Down To Tallahassee And Beating Up The Elderly. A.K.A The Inferior. Because They're Old And Can't Fight Back. 0:52
Question after question after question.
I admit, God, this season has really tested my faith.
The last six plus months have been a steep valley.
And even when I thought I was done, you gave me the strength to keep fighting.
Even when I wanted nothing to do with you, your spirit gave me the fear and remembrance of not only your righteousness, and also what I truly deserve.
I can't ever remember a trial as severe as the one I am still at war with.
"Is this God testing me?"
"Is this God refining me?"
"Is this God punishing me?"
"Is this God punishing me?"
"Does God love me?"
"Does Satan have his hand in this more than I see?"
I don't know if I will ever get the answers to these questions.
But God, who am I to demand anything from you?
I'm already saved from my own sins, and yet I add another sin to the ledger for my outward defiance and questioning of your timing and will and lack of action.
Jesus, I hate this season.
I can't deny that.
But I thank you that even at the lowest parts, and even when I failed to feel your comforting presence, I know you have been by my side this entire time.
If this is my life, so be it.
I submit to you, for I deserve nothing from you in the first place.
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Second Class Non-Denominational Christian (EP)
September 5, 2024, Independent (Digital)
1. I Was Told To Make Shorter Song Titles 0:57
My mind and my heart are broken
Nearly thirty and I'm still all alone
I'm still all alone
No one gets me
No one gets me
I'm trying to remember the one who bore my sins and gave my life meaning
It's just hard when I cry out for someone to truly get me and fall on deaf ears
You bring comfort to those who seek
I'm crying out to you almost daily to comfort me
Why am I still alone?
Why am I so angry at the one who literally went to Hell and back to give me life?
I'm so mad
I'm so confused
I just want comfort
I'm so sick of these thoughts
2. Just For This Release, Though 0:49
I'm starting to realize that I may be distracting myself to numb the reality of my situation
Constantly finding things to occupy myself instead of observing the Sabbath like I am commanded
I get angry when I don't have rest
But when I stop to think all I feel is pain
Whether it's loneliness, sadness, anger, or even hatred
The list goes on
Jesus, I know you are here in the midst of these thoughts
I don't even know what I'm doing
I don't even know how to live
I can't go one second without mentally punching someone in the face
I don't remember being this angry in my youth
But now, as I walk side-by-side with you, I just feel this burden
Jesus, I am never leaving you
I can't go through this life without you
I just have no idea where to even go from here
3. Don't Worry, I'm Still Stupid 0:54
God forbid I rest
God forbid I rest for one second
Something that is obviously not true, but I am breaking at the seams
I don't know how to rest
I'm almost scared to rest
Whenever I do, these thoughts of anger and guilt creep in
Why am I chosen to live the life so lavish and carefree when there are people too poor to even afford food?
Why am I chosen to be the most misunderstood person I know?
Jesus, I don't even compare to you
I am not fit to carry your sandals
But yet I paint this picture in my mind of how I am this martyr
If I were you, I'd just kill me already
The world would go on just fine without me
4. I Am Still Going To Write Dumb Song Titles 0:49
If I died the world would be just fine
My family would get over it
My friends would miss me
My Sunday school class would forget me
Jesus, my life is but a breath
My life is meaningless
If I died, your plan would go on without me
You would probably find someone else more fitting to care for these children
Someone who would actually be a teacher instead of just an overgrown child
I am a fraud
I am nothing
Jesus, the only reason I even have any success at all is because you ordain it
For some reason, you pit me enough to let me have the energy to get out of bed in the morning to keep getting in people's way
5. Chances Are I'm Going To Be Forever 0:50
This is why I don't rest
Because when I do, all my hate pours out of my heart
I can't let a simple offense go
Whether it's a misspoken word, or just the presence of super-well-put-together person at my church, my teeth gnash
Jesus, there are days I wish I could bury my head in the sand and never speak to anyone ever again
There are days when I don't even want to talk to you
Whether laziness or feeling mad like a child because I don't get everything I want
I don't know what you see in me
I don't know why you died for me
I will never understand
Look at me
I just wish you were here on my couch to give me a hug as I sobbed
I desperately need you
Please, never leave me
6. I Haven't Matured 0:53
I wish you were here on my couch with me
I wish I could hear in plain English your voice
I have so many questions
I don't even know if I could ever recite them all
Why do you love me?
Why did you make me?
Why am I surrounded by people but no one truly gets me?
I'm aware I'm weird, but people who have known me for my whole life just don't get me
Like my friends
Like my family
Jesus, I know for a fact you wouldn't keep me here if you didn't have a purpose for me
Sometimes I just wonder if the purpose is to make others feel better about themselves when I'm around
The only people who I feel fully love for who I am are the little ones who I am allowed to teach at church
And even then I'm just some creep because I'm spending so much free time with children
7. Why Would I Mature? 0:41
It doesn't matter if you give me rest at the end of my day
I could have only an hour to relax and I still feel like a failure
No matter what I do
No matter how much I give
My heart still feels empty
My life still feels empty
No fulfillment
Never-ending discontentment
I can never rest in the peace you claim to provide
What is the meaning of this life?
I've always been told when you give your life to Christ happiness and joy follow
I feel nothing but uselessness
I am wasting my time
I am wasting my life
Why?
When I ask myself, I still have nothing
Whenever I think what will give my life meaning, all I can muster is giving Christ everything
Jesus, I submit to you
When will you make my life feel full?
8. As Soon As I Mature I Have To Pay Taxes 0:53
"Come to me and I will give you rest"
I feel like that verse was written for everyone else besides me
I find nothing but restlessness
I struggle with self-worth
Something I never struggled with before I knew you
Jesus, what am I missing?
What am I doing wrong?
I try and I try to give you everything
I submit to you every morning on my way to work
I give you my day, and acknowledge you as my God
Why are you hiding yourself from me?
Am I that unlovable?
What did I do to have you forsake me?
I hate sounding dramatic, but all I feel is emptiness
My heart wretches with these words
My eyes pour tears like an infant getting kicked in the face
This is not the life I was promised
These are not the words I was told
9. That's The Rule, Right? 0:46
It doesn't help you give me no one to vent to
All I freaking hear is how you created us to love together
Any time you wanna give me someone who can relate to me would be great
I'm trying not to be rude, but this pain is bubbling up to no end
God, I can't help but admit I am absolutely livid with how my life is
Why?
I don't freaking know why
I'm healthy with a well-paying job and plenty of friends
I'm used in my work, at my church, and even in the grind scene
Why am I so empty?
I'm crying out to you day and night to show yourself to me
To comfort me
To love me
When do you plan to do so?
Can you give me any comfort?
Or are you too busy loving people who you're actually proud of?
10. I Don't Have To Pay Taxes If I'm Mentally A Child? 0:47
I don't know if this is more anger or just depression
I feel forsaken by a God who claims to be always present
I don't feel your presence
I feel like you could care less about what happens in my life
Whenever I pray to you for help, things get immediately worse
I almost feel like you get enjoyment out of my pain and misery
I admit, I don't even really wanna pray anymore
I feel like it's falling on deaf ears
Or worse, you hear and you don't care
Or even worse, you hear, and make things harder to laugh at me
I ask you again, do you care?
No, seriously, do you care?
Jesus Christ, hear me
Do you even care about me?
Because I am starting to think you don't
11. My Sister Called Me A Six-Foot Six-Year-Old Years Ago 0:50
Surrounded by fellow Christians
Surrounded by people I have nothing in common with
If Heaven really is like a wedding feast, do I even want to go?
Seriously, do I even want to go?
I hate being around these people
I hate being ignored and belittled
I hate being so different
I hate not fitting in
Something I couldn't care less about as a teenage is killing me as an adult
Maybe I just have different expectations
And maybe I should just give up
I am forgotten
I am unlovable
I'm just some idiot who never grew up
Skin crawling whenever I'm in a church group
Feeling like I'm worsening everyone else's enjoyment because I'm there
I don't fit in, and not only that, it's painfully obvious
One person
One freaking person who I can relate to is all I ask
12. I Guess She Wasn't Wrong 0:43
With tears streaming down my face, I'm left again wondering why I bother crying out to you
My prayers have turned to screams
My hopes have turned to anger
You have no problem answering my prayers when it puts me in a position, but God forbid you answer a prayer that would be for me
No, God, seriously, I love getting four hours of sleep a night as long as I stay out to 1AM letting someone vent to me
I love the fact you don't give me anyone to vent to
I love the fact even if I did, I wouldn't know what to freaking say
I love the fact I'm twenty-nine years old and still wondering why I'm here
I am overjoyed that I don't have a single person in my life who understands me
Thank you
Please, let me drive off a cliff on my way home because this life is not anything I want to pursue anymore
13. Joke's On Her, Though 0:48
Quit freaking looking at me like that as soon as I enter your place of work
I refuse to call it a church, since you run your ministry like a dictatorship
Don't you dare claim you care about people the way Christ did
You care more about growing your church instead of showing Christ
Looking down on me because of the way I dress
How dare you tell me straight to my face how disgusting I dress when I come to church
Apparently to wear black now is to sin
Apparently to dislike crappy, uninspired, modern-day "Christian" music shows my lack of relationship with Christ
There's nothing wrong with me
There's something wrong with you
I don't care what your gift or calling is
You're doing an absolutely crappy job thinking you're being the light of Christ
I see you
I see your true colors
You are not the light of Christ
You're just another scumbag, false prophet
14. I'm Significantly Taller Than Her 0:56
If this church represents what I have to look forward to in Heaven, then that sounds like my absolute Hell
I don't fit in here
I hate it here
I can't believe this is my life
Every Sunday I have to deal with people who spend more time trying to show how good they are rather than actually trying to better themselves
Spending an hour and a half on makeup in the morning, but when was the last time you read your Bible?
Why am I here?
Don't you dare question my faith because I don't jump up like an idiot to hollow songs that have nothing to do with Christ
Don't you dare question my devotion to Jesus because I'd rather be in Sunday school every week teaching the pure of heart rather than hearing useless words from a shallow teacher
I hate it here
I hate Christians
God, if you didn't give me a chance to teach these children, I would never show to this church again
15. Who Cares If She Went To College And Has A IQ Over Thirteen? 1:00
As I sit here and wonder why I am the way I am, everything traces back to you: my earthly father
Still to this day I have questions of what I did to cause you such anger
It saddens me that there's still some discontent
And whenever I come over to visit, there's just never that feeling of home
Whenever there's an older man in my life, I can't help but notice how much I want his attention
I can't help but notice how much I want his approval
Nearly thirty, and I'm not sure how to handle this
I used to pride myself on not caring about anything
I used to not care about anything
Now, all I want is to be loved
I guess I'm human after all
Jesus, again, here I am
Wondering what's wrong with me
Yet, I am reminded of the price you paid for me to live
Even though I may not mean much of anything to a lot of people on this earth, please let me never diminish your price sacrifice to save me
Your love is the greatest love of all
16. I'm Still Taller 1:00
My hope is gone
It pains me to even think that, let alone say
The words lingering in my mind feel like a sin to even think
But, I can't deny this anymore
As I cry out to you, I see no progress
I only see regression
What I feel you say today is the complete opposite of what I felt you told me last week
Or a month ago
Or months
Or years
Every time I read your word, I read nothing but holding on, and how God will deliver
I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship
I feel like I'm being lied to
I feel like I'm being led on
At what point do things get better?
And what point do you actually deliver on your promise?
Every day, every single freaking day I can't help but think you're in Heaven laughing at me while I try my best to follow your lead, only for you to have me go at this totally blind
"Screw this guy" is all I picture you saying
"Let's see how long I can keep making him think I'll deliver him the things he thought I told him"
I don't want dreams anymore
I don't want desires
All that ever happens is them to be cursed and unfilled
Screw me, right?
17. And Hairier 0:47
Jesus, I don't even know what to pray anymore
I don't even know what to pursue
I'm trying everything I can to get closer to you, and I still don't have any inclination of what I'm doing
All I know is I hate everything
Everything pisses me off
Every day is another day of inconveniences
Things that used to bring me joy are now meaningless
People I used to love talking to I now avoid
And I still feel like some overgrown child who doesn't fit in with people his own age because I don't dress the way I'm supposed to
What's the point of creating me the way I did to be segregated the way I feel?
I hate this feeling
I hate this life
The only thing that will make things better is when I die and don't have to through this crap anymore
And even then I have to deal with the people for eternity I've spent the last three years of my life avoiding daily
18. I Wish I Was A Ballerina 1:02
Finally getting some clarification of this situation has pained my heart
Jesus, when I stop and start putting the pieces together, I know why I'm going a million miles a minute
I just want acceptance
Something I don't think I ever got from a human before
I know I don't need to do all this work for your love, but I can't help it
Whenever people ask what my dream is, I can honestly say "All I want is for people to know Jesus because of my life"
Why am I searching so hard?
God, why is rest impossible for me, even when you do grant it
I look forward to nothing, because all my spare time is me forcing projects for you
Jesus, I know your hand and spirit is upon me, but my heart is wrecked and soul is troubled
I just want to make you happy
I don't think I ever had this unconditional love before where I didn't have to work above and beyond to gain appreciation
Jesus, my heart and my mind are broken
When I think of what I had to do to even have my earthly father acknowledge me, my heart hurts
I'm still not even sure how to feel love
Jesus, I wonder if this is why I'm still without a wife
I don't know how to experience love
I don't know what love is
I don't know how to be loved
I'm twenty-nine years old, and my mind and my heart are still broken
Non-Christian releases:
The Angry Mail Man Split
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